Thabang’thabong

Da Capo’s live performance at Descendants Johannesburg.

Quick notes on giving a speech at a wedding, funeral or any celebration or mass gathering. When you are invited to speak, more often than not, you are chosen to represent friends or family or work colleagues and the collective experience of the person being celebrated. Your task is not to tell your story, but to articulate what those you are tasked to represent feel. Personal anecdotes, if you must, at least share one that would serve to reflect the collective truth resonant with everyone. The fact that the person once lent you money, bought you viagra or triphasils, helped you in a crisis, or showed you kindness is not the point. The point is their character. Frame such moments as evidence of a generosity that many in the room have benefited from not as a spotlight on yourself. Resist the temptation to centre yourself. This moment is not about your proximity, your history, or your sacrifices. It is about honouring the person in a way that feels shared, balanced and dignified. If you intend to be humorous, exercise restraint. Take a brief mental scan of the room. Ask yourself: Who might misunderstand this? Who might feel exposed or diminished? Who might be hurt rather than amused? Wisdom in public speaking is not saying everything you can say, but knowing what should not be said. Practise self- restraint and do keep it short and sweet. Class dismissed and goodnight.

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