Dan Keogh

No one: Uber Eats Notification: good morning you fat piece of shit. Click the button to make shrimp arrive via private taxi

WINNERS.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS. 🌟

👑 @Coventry_City are the CHAMPIONS! 👏 #EFL | #SkyBetChampionship

Why do clubs keep hiring Frank Lampard? 😂

Today we have fulfilled our promise to return to the @PremierLeague.   We do so with ambition, with unity, and with a clear vision for the future.   WE ARE BACK. 🏁

Congratulations, @Coventry_City! Welcome back to the Premier League 👏

@andy_cov93 @2929EB I think we just got him in before Markelo was on the books and then he became surplus to requirements

@2929EB He’s played like 1 league game and 1 cup game and vanished off the face of earth

I am once again asking

@MrBoldOne @EmiratesFACup Enjoy your quadruple, pal.

Absolutely disgusting, the word "Easter" has been removed from Jermaine Easter's Wikipedia page and replaced with "Non-Denominational Spring Celebration".

@RhysDavies54 @_MattPerkins1 @Coventry_City I take it back tbf, that was a howler from him and Eccles 😂

@_dankeogh @_MattPerkins1 @Coventry_City Brilliant shot from Simms there, why would we need Haji on?

Level at the interval. ⏸️

@RhysDavies54 @_MattPerkins1 @Coventry_City Would you rather have Haji?? If you think Simms does nothing then you’re in for a treat

@_dankeogh @_MattPerkins1 @Coventry_City Had a couple of good chances which he’s fucked up, how does that mean he’s been good 😂 stick me on there I’ll chase balls down for 25 bags a week 👍🏼

@RhysDavies54 @_MattPerkins1 @Coventry_City Been chasing balls down, had a couple of really good chances, showing his strength… as usual he’s the scapegoat on here

@_dankeogh @_MattPerkins1 @Coventry_City Are you pissed up 😂😂😂

@_MattPerkins1 @Coventry_City Simms has had a good half.

@Coventry_City Get Simms and Eccles off. Offering nothing

summoning this 18 year old ps3 alive after nearly 2 decades, shoving a disc into it, then forcing it to download 517 MB over a modern wireless internet connection within minutes of its awakening

Igor Tudor coming in to save Tottenham:

My mate sent me a picture of the Ibrox trouble yesterday but he didn’t tell me he took it off his TV and I thought Rangers had installed a chandelier in the away end