elliot

Telling everyone how impressive my first gay bareback orgy was

A man goes to the doctor complaining of great loneliness and feelings of resentment. Doctor says, "Tom Skinner’s mental health walk is in town today. You should join.” The man bursts into tears. He says, "But doctor…listen, I ain’t political or nothing, I just graft and (1/28)

The pure composure he possesses to complete this order with distractions is nothing short of remarkable

the inevitable gymskin cancellation is gna be devastating

RZA the only one on So Appalled that actually sounded like he felt shit was “fucking ridiculous”

I got niggas on depop begging for balenciaga jeans I farted 100 times in at the hibachi grill.

Chet trying to convince the consular officer he's a white boy from America but he is so far transmogrified all they see is a fresh-as-hell Afro Caribbean brotha.

RFK stuns crowd with bizarre impression. Unreal.

you can just tell the only reason Elon Musk hasn't been to Epstein Island is because all the other billionaire pedophiles were like "ugh i don't wanna hang out with that loser"

WFH these days so no watercooler options. Just gonna stand by the kitchen sink all day and ask the wife did she see the match when she comes near. Could be a long one.

"A little bit of Lou Bega every nine days or so. He's often busy. I've learned not to ask too many questions." - Mambo No.5 from the point of view of Erica.

Still maintain lower league teams who beat Barclays opposition in the cup shouldn't be allowed to progress, with the Barclays side reinstated so to not devalue the competition. Their achievement will still be recognised with Love2Shop vouchers and a squad trip to Alton Towers.

In China, driverless delivery vans have become a total meme, they plow through crumbling roads, fresh concrete, motorcycles, anything. Nothing stops them.

???

dimitri finds out, 2008

Jools Holland sitting on his hands so it feels like someone else is boogie woogieing all over his guest’s tracks

funny how when i rate something lower than my friends on letterboxd, i’m exhibiting a rare, higher level discernment, and when i rate something higher, i’m demonstrating a more textured, holistic appreciation than most;

A poor bear is gonna eat this fish and then go the rest of its life chasing that dragon

That’s another black man, you’re just proving our point

Joe Rogan in his car