Simon's

@fesshole Is this Prince William??

Barely seen my mate since I was best man at his wedding ten years ago. I suspect it may have something to do with him collapsing at the end of his stag do and confessing through streams of tears how he was in love with someone else and didn't know how to get out of the wedding.

@LionelMedia When the job was a skill, to electronic now days

Do you think most young people today would even know what this was?

@tomreadwilson Is the only reason I'm watching #CelebsGoDating

@EndWokeness Never send the apprentice alone to a robber 😂

This lady tried pulling an armed robbery on a gas station on Friday. How it went:

@MyLordBebo Rule 1. Never bring a knife to a gun fight

Bro with a knife wanted to mess with Keith … but Keith has no chill for that Man that English is so tough to understand, anyone can localize the accent?

When the twist is the brat has the funds #sunseaandsellinghouses

@3YearLetterman You can't impeach King Donald of the Kingdoms of the Canada, USA and Mexico

This is from a gas station in the UK. This is utter bullshit I want someone to explain to me why the Redcoats are paying $1.30 a gallon for gas and hardworking American Patriots like me are paying THREE TIMES THAT AMOUNT! There is no choice but to impeach Trump for this

@Jambo14AFC @Argos_Online @LGUK @LG_CustomerCare @LGUKCare @MartinSLewis Cheers James, will probably go down this route very disappointed that the @Argos_Online "customer" service person was unaware of the consumer rights act

@_home_alone23 @Argos_Online @LGUK @LG_CustomerCare @LGUKCare @MartinSLewis They’ll send you to LG anyways mate, better off just contacting them and getting a reference number and then going back to Argos with the item

Hi @Argos_Online I have a thirteen month old LG TV, last night the screen decided to start playing up, please can I have the relevant department to organise a return please @LGUK @LG_CustomerCare @LGUKCare @MartinSLewis @sainsburys

@PhilSledge Crumpets, are pikelets thinner?

I’m having these for Easter breakfast but not sure what they are called where you live.

@Argos_Online @LGUK @LG_CustomerCare @LGUKCare @MartinSLewis Hi Shreya, The link for private message is not working? The item is two weeks past its one year warranty,I'm trying to find out who is responsible under the consumer rights act as I would expect a TV to last at least six/seven years

@_home_alone23 @LGUK @LG_CustomerCare @LGUKCare @MartinSLewis Hi Simon. I’m really sorry to hear about the delay with your order. To help us look into this for you, could you please pop us a direct message with your order details? - Shreya twitter.com/messages/compo…

@Saskiaaa_____ Already told my boss I'm doing less and the kids can pick up the slack, he didn't look impressed especially when i added I'm humble enough to know you can get rid of me but cocky enough it'll take four of them to do my work load 😂😂

£26436.80 is the new min wage annual salary (40 hrs p/wk). And as the min wage rises, regular salaries don't. So many people will begin to ask themselves 'why am I working this highly stressful job that needed qualifications and a tonne of bullshit paperwork and police checks just to earn 5k more a year than I would stacking shelves at Lidl?'

@JamesAFurey Get him something harder to read?

My son is six, and he can read chapter books but he can’t tie his own shoes. Any advice?

@NotFarLeftAtAll illegal immigration

What is the most importance thing for you come the next General Election.. Be Honest !!! A: The Economy B: Immigration C: The NHS D: The Benefit System E: The Safety of my Children’s Future F: Potholes If it’s not on here please comment below

@MbarkCherguia Awesome sauce, he forgot the awesome sauce

Can you SPOT what he did wrong cooking this $150 steak?? 🥩😭

@ComradeRedJimmy @TheNorfolkLion @marksandspencer That cost a lot of dough

@TheNorfolkLion I went into a @marksandspencer the other day. I fell about laughing at the prices. £5+ for a loaf of bread.....🤣😂🤣😂

M&S Beef Burgers with only 3 ingredients, back to basics, how it should be! 👏🏻

@Jenny_1884 We had one with a 50p slot on the back 😂

Who else back in the day used to rent their TV ?

@NotFarLeftAtAll She turning the supply off to reduce the bills

Zack Polanski claims Hannah Spencer, a local plumber, can reduce bills for residents in Gorton and Denton.

@honeymoon250 20, although not blockbuster but a local video shop

5 for me!! I feel confident nobody Has all 20 How many for you?

@RetroMoviesDB Was torn between, Battle Beyond the Stars or the last starfighter

OK, who can identify this film... Any fans?