1shea

How do I become an umbrella holder for @F1 because I think I’d be very good at it

Im upset. Unfortunately this feeling isn’t new. I have thoughts.. hopes.. ideas… but the way things are make me feel like the best idea doesn’t matter. Because if they wanted to make things better.. safer… They would.

Valentine’s Day is really only good for mass unfollowing insufferable fools on instagram.

i love that the she was so annoying that the person who kidnapped her was like nah, lol, im not getting paid enough

I don’t want CHILdren, I want CHILi’s

how did everyone in the studio keep a straight face when Nelly walked in that damn booth, put headphones on, stepped up to the mic and right out the gate said "good gracious, ass is bodacious"

Mood board for 2023

I laughed in my dentists face today bc of @hwoodcrimescene

Weeeee need another plague

Did not get IDed on thanksgiving eve. Am old officially.

My outright refusal to turn the heat on when I’m freezing leads me to believe that I have, in fact, become a clone of my father.

I went to college in the exact terrible years where you'd get super fucked up at a party then wake up in the morning to a facebook notification like "you were tagged in 84 pictures in the album BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL - SENIOR WEEK 2009" then brace to die of utter humiliation

@Kim__Campbell I’m sayin!

@a1shea I don’t listen to her when it’s free nvm when it costs more than my rent

There is no artist on this planet of earth I’d be willing to pay $1000+ to see live idk

I think Pete Davidson should date, and I mean this so seriously, Julia Fox I think they would be soul mates

In 7th grade, my friends and I convinced a large number of students to put the name “Heywood Jablome” in the school raffle and when the principal read the name in the gym, we all screamed for five straight minutes. Everyone got a detention. That’s how Twitter feels now.

@corwick4 This is the only answer!

I have been wondering this my entire life so before twitter implodes I must know: how do people know line dances? Who teaches them and how do you know which dance to do? Are they universal? Wtf?

A must watch for any Spice Girls fan!