Angel

In my 2 weeks of parenting, I have learned that raising a baby is just an ongoing game of “Hey, where’s your sock?”

how come no one ever complains about the rising cost of raisins? Almost 200% cost increase over 30 years. About 50% above inflation rate. This is the real conspiracy because who even likes raisins that much

Hiding the baseball from a professional hitter is wild 🤣

It’s probably time to clean or replace your water bottle gasket

After I say "that's crazy" twice, please wrap up your story.

Played to perfection. @cocogauff wins her second major title.

@ajpalompo i’m just gonna invent a service where i show up and pick it out for you

@a_barri_ you should invent this

i wish they made trail mix without nuts and raisins

What is the single best episode of television you’ve ever seen?

To all the people that pay at the hot dog window at Costco, Grow up. Use the kiosk.

@ajpalompo you forgot to say I love you 🤦‍♂️

wished my last hinge match a happy 1 week & then he ended things…where did i go wrong 😔😔😔

Boban intentionally missing a free throw to give Clippers fans free chicken is the craziest thing I’ve seen all season 😂

@ajpalompo facts

misjudging the tupperware size is the most humiliating thing in the entire world

i don’t like that my microwave spins counter-clockwise

Me after flipping tortillas with my bare hands

@miyaceline the donkey may appear to any worthy ogre or ogress in need, it does not entitle it to that ogre’s property

@a_barri_ How dare you slander donkey’s name like that

Donkey had no legitimate claim on Shrek’s swamp.

here he comes!

It is February 6th. On this day, Mewtwo was born. Happy birthday Mewtwo.