alli🦋

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It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 12 years, since 14 May 2011 (via @twi_age).

I never sing the part that goes “I don’t talk shit about you on the internet” because I might be a bitch but I am not a liar

i am blessed and highly favored 🤣😤💯🙌

@ap_phillippi no fr everybody get off the tl

@NashSevereWx should i wait to drive from brentwood to nashville i'm scared 🥺

Severe thunderstorm warning continues. Radar at 305PM. Damaging winds possible inside the yellow polygon.

Hundreds of New York Times contributors and readers: We’re concerned that the anti-trans bias in your paper could have devastating effects, both on individuals and society as a whole. The New York Times:

o the digital collages of this i would have reposted on tumblr in 2013

@trisvande hahaha omg that is so us!!! it’s so funny

valentine’s dinner has consisted of me explaining the crucifixion to emily and her going “wait that’s so sad no wonder people are christian”

*sharted?

(everywhere we go she tries to trick me into believing she shart herself)

emily is the girl who cried shart

Time to believe. New season kicks off 3.15.23

This time of year I read between ten and twenty college essays a day. You learn to categorize them: a tour of my room, my sports injury, a person that matters to me. A genre I wish I read less is "I survived a school shooting." I've read way too many of those. I read one today.

As your president, I’m not picking favorites. But as Jill Biden’s husband, fly Eagles, fly.