peter m hohmann

@MagicRealismBot Yeah, same as a big ol' white house in Washington

There is a hospital in Florida for sick penises.

@MagicRealismBot ...and they are thwarted by a bunch of capitalists meeting in a shiny new sky scraper

A secret society of Marxists meet once a year inside a ruined cathedral to decide the fate of the human race.

@MagicRealismBot I promptly head to the nearest cosmic pawn shop - should be worth a few bucks!

A little girl knocks at your door. You answer it, and she hands you a galaxy.

@MagicRealismBot Diabetes here I come!

A social media manager invents a better version of hope: Having a passionate love affair with birthday cakes.

@MagicRealismBot One can usually find it for free - just be really really annoying!

A boy saves up his money in order to buy solitude.

Desperate to drive a Bugatti Chiron but don't have a few million dollars to drop on the "real" version? Check out this full-sized Lego version. It makes 5.3 horses from 2,304 tiny motors and can go 18 mph. wired.trib.al/Gdym7I0

@MagicRealismBot Their short life spans and rapid reproduction means once they attain their objective, they will quickly proceed to modern times and exceed us. Prepare to become the pets of super evolved meerkats.

A group of meerkats are setting out on a long journey. Their aim is to reach the Middle Ages.

@MagicRealismBot Wave-like children would be very hard to control; best get a quantum babysitter

A Latvian congresswoman marries moonlight. They have one child: A daughter who is made of sound.

The only true mistakes are those from which we learn nothing

@MagicRealismBot Surely she would only need to slip him a small blue pill?

A queen invents a machine that will let her have sexual intercourse with Bernie Sanders.

@MagicRealismBot Huh?? Has anyone here heard of any Chinese doctoral students at all?

An Irish pub is haunted by the ghost of a Chinese doctoral student. She is extremely famous.

@MagicRealismBot I say "give me your bloody time machine instead!"

A time travelling woman from the year 30,000 AD materializes in front of you. She says: "I am here to give you a ruby."

@MagicRealismBot One suspects she would have preferred one which allows her to communicate better with students

A math teacher finds a small metal sphere which allows her to communicate with fireflies.

@JoshuaMusikanto @markdotgooley @MagicRealismBot Black hole then

@markdotgooley @MagicRealismBot Just a guess: It's coiled up and infinitely dense.

There is a lightning bolt in Dar es Salaam that is infinitely long.

Wonder what would happen if a female CEO "alternated between laughter and tears" in a "breaking-news" breakdown interview. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Breaking my Twitter silence to note this important story by @tsimonite about the paucity of women in AI. wired.com/story/artifici… via @WIRED

Here @NOAA we have a lot of data. We don’t like to brag...but we have BIG data, ocean data, petabytes of satellite data, we could go on. And we will, HAPPY #DATAPALOOZA DAY!!!! Do you have cool data too? Celebrate all the data available to science today with the #DATAPALOOZA!

@MagicRealismBot We will give you 3500 diamonds to keep the bastard!

A wizard kidnaps a dictator. It demands a ransom of 3,500 amethysts.

@MagicRealismBot ...and promptly loses all her worker's rights

A hairdresser proposes marriage to Uber.

@MagicRealismBot I have commented here about infinitely beautiful things before. They tend to spoil you; once you see one everything else becomes infinitely ugly by comparison. I doubt anyone can handle that for long!

There is a waterlily in Seville that is infinitely beautiful.