Allison Curtis

You know what's a sign of true love? Miscommunication. That's what.

Scarlett Johansson stole my haircut. At least it's not as terrible as her acting #unpopularopinion

Apparently when I say "nine" it really sounds like I'm saying "one" #phoneproblems

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single dude in possession of good popularity must be in want of an adorable social outcast.

It's time to rise up against the government and be a revolutionary. Good thing I'm white, or I'd be a thug.

Holy shit. #ExMachina is amazing

Finally seeing #ExMachina. Having a job takes up too much of my time.

Gotta hand it to @united online and phone customer service. They managed to turn this nightmare day around for me.

Crying in an airport bathroom is brought to you today by @united.

The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby got me right in the feels

"I think this was designed by someone who read Hunger Games &vreally identified with the struggle of all the people living in The Capitol."

"The next person who offers me pity or charity will be mentioned — by name — in my suicide note." #Community gets me.

#Community feels like it's in the darkest timeline and I think I like it.

There's a show called Knife Fight, but it's so sadly not what you think or want.

How am I spending my Saturday night? Going over health insurance options. #wild

Tomorrow is casual Friday at work. In related news I've become a person who works at a place with casual Fridays.

If I had dance moves like Channing Tatum, I'd have no choice but to be a stripper either.

So what did I bring for lunch on my first day at a specialty food store? Cup of noodles and a pop tart #poor

I truly love the internet, but I hate people on it as much as I hate people irl.

Just realized how fucked up my hand is from my first dragon boat practice last night. Ouch.