Ariana

Why isn’t there a Ben & Jerry’s flavor called The Almond Brothers

AI should read your texts and give you personality adjustments. Like this person treats you like shit and you are too nice to them. You gotta stop taking your anger out on your best friend. Etc.

Would love an AI app that tracks the tone of my tweets and texts alongside my menstrual cycles to help chart my mood

I’m laughing like who was the woman who wrote this tweet? I was so industrious and ambitious last week. Don’t know her, that’s no longer a woman I identify with.

Had a really tough week so far. Handled it like Charlie Sheen.

people are dragging him but i would be so pissed

in 1982 Titanic survivor Ruth Becker was giving an interview where she stated the ship broke in two. The treasurer of the Titanic Historical Society actually took the microphone away from her and said she had been mistaken. 3 years later they found the wreck broken in 2

Would love educational spheres! A tour of the human body! Planet earth, sphere edition.

i’m gonna start saying “not all men” when someone says something positive about a man

The French eat more leeks than we do and honestly they’re better for it

There’s one other Ariana Alfonso and she lives in Argentina. I follow her on Instagram. I get her emails a lot. Today I get on a call with a guy in Buenos Aires. He said “I know someone here in Buenos Aires with your name.” I said oh yes, we know each other.

She never increases the price of her subscription.

The Oregon bike bus is one of the most wholesome things I continue to see on the internet

Such a good thriller to be written where Matt Damon is scientist number 12

Me rn

Best advice you can give to young women right now.

Everytime I have a Coke Zero my mind quietly says “stay.”

Every Gatorade commercial is an athlete. I just want 1 hungover person. That’s all I ask.

I’m so addicted to my house that I’m genuinely never sad to leave a vacation. I’m always ready.

i read that 40% of americans don’t have $500 and stopped honking at people, these people gonna blow my head smooth off

@Walgreens Bitch I didn’t even tag u

@ama8189 We are sorry to hear about this, Ariana. Please feel free to contact our Online Pharmacy Specialists, at 1-877-250-5823, for assistance with these Rx Alerts and notifications. Our specialists will have the necessary access to report any issues and update these preferences.

You know what doesn’t help my anxiety, Walgreens? Sending me 65 texts and voicemails telling me to go pick up my Xanax.