Andy Gurnett

Cody’s Law make metal detectors and bleed kits law for clubs and events - Sign the Petition! chng.it/RW4tCrtL via @UKChange

@antmeals Have a go on Goodbye Junes new album “See where the night goes”

@RishiSunak All well and good, but the planned change to the use of red diesel needs to be abandoned because the costs of fuel in construction and distribution are going to double in April, so everything is going to cost more

We’re delivering our promise to match NICs and income-tax thresholds in full, this year. It's the biggest single personal tax cut in over a decade. 70% of all workers will have their taxes cut by more than the amount they’ll pay through the new NHS & Care Levy.

@RachelRileyRR @SophieEB Two absolutely beautiful talented inspirational hard working mums x

Love this girl! Fab day in studio plus I have my next book to read as well 😘 @SophieEB

@adilray Hi Adil, I’m In Britain, and I like you. Absolutely love Mr Khan as well. Hope you are enjoying your cup of tea out of a saucer

@sarajcox When I worked for Halfords in the early nineties, a lady came in to buy things to clean her car (it was obvious she hadn’t done it herself before) and she wanted everything. We got to polish and I handed her a tin of Turtle wax, and she asked “is it made of actual turtles?”

What’s the weirdest question you’ve been asked at work? Imagine shop assistants have been asked some crackers? Dentists? Hairdresser? Vets? Teachers? Nurse? Was it from a boss, client, colleague or customer? Let me know please 😙

@FINALLEVEL I told you, ya shoulda killed me last year

Abso Fn lutely!

@adamhillscomedy Mine has done this a few times, I naturally shit myself and then find no message in the app

Got a notification from my NHS Covid app. When I clicked on it, I was taken to the app, but the notification has gone. Anyone else found this? Genuinely want to know what the notification said.

@sarajcox Is it sad I knew what car it was but not what plant 🌱

Just popping a seatbelt on a plant, hows your morning?

@antmeals @Chops_Top_Fives @i40publishing No mention of Rihanna’s umbrella ☔️ 🤪

@rickygervais hadn’t seen an episode of Afterlife until Sunday, then binged them and love every one. Especially loved the 100 year old lady. Thank you

@antmeals It was particularly thought that year, competing as a foetus isn’t easy

@antmeals Meanwhile in Upton Upon Severn

@StateOfLinkedIn What an ambulance chasing cock Womble

Corona-cunt

@joelycett @HUGOBOSS I wonder if they sent a cease and desist letter to prince harry when he wore a replica of one of their lovely Wafen SS uniforms, or do you think they might like to forget that part of their company history

So @HUGOBOSS (who turnover approx $2.7 billion a year) have sent cease & desist letters to a number of small businesses & charities who use the word 'BOSS' or similar, including a small brewery in Swansea costing them thousands in legal fees and rebranding. (1/2)

@StateOfLinkedIn Sadly the job we were hiring for was a brain surgeon, and despite their excellent time keeping, snappy scrubs and enthusiasm, all of this weeks patients died on the table

@theJeremyVine Faulty screwdriver

TOOL SHAZAM. What is the name of this tool, which all our dads owned, which is basically just a sharp point? Is it the same tool you use to make a guide hole for screws?

@sarajcox Noooooooooooooooooooo

Flippin’ rubbish

@StateOfLinkedIn Mummy why are people pointing at us? Because we are on the back of a fucking AA truck in a brand new motor son

🧐

@StateOfLinkedIn Are we to assume that you own a hotel chain, or are you just a flash prick, or indeed a liar

Look at my swimming pool, did I mention that I have one?