Alex Robson

@ezoshhh The builder running to his van tomorrow when he sees he's working at yours again

builder walked into my room without knocking and my butt cheeks were out

@NG9024 @MusicConnoisseu Dunno if someone else answered but its Steeze Factory, check the Roll Deep one out!

@MusicConnoisseu What is this from?

AITCH ALWAYS LIGHTS UP THE BEAT🔥 The levels are DIFFERENT 🥶

@bigo93 @CrimeLdn I think you'll find thats deliberate to overwhelm the suspects and prevent them from reaching for anything. They do it whether you are innocent or not, better to prevent first then ask questions later

@CrimeLdn And how is anyone supposed to know what any of them said when all of them are shouting at the same time?! You can see how this can lead to confusion and fear if and when they do this to an innocent party!

Armed police at St. James Park tube station

@AlexPemOfficial @CrimeLdn Just a guess but this is usually from them receiving a report of a gun/knife in the waistband that the guys have accidentally shown. Either that or theyve tracked them from a robbery involving a weapon etc

@CrimeLdn Anyone know what happened? Seems excessive

He’s going to the post office. Add 10 people in line who have never mailed anything in their entire life

@PeachJars If I legally change my name to J P Morgan, can I jump to the top of the application pile

taking applications thank u

JP Morgan: We’re hiring. Me:

@KaleiRenay We love ya Kale <3

please hold on to your loved ones dearly tonight

@PanVanDams @ColeFusionHQ x.com/ColeFusionHQ/s…

@ColeFusionHQ "Crawley says temporary accommodation now consumes £2 of every £3 it collects in council tax." Utter nonsense. While I agree the entire house buying system needs ripping up and starting again, why infect a serious point with this fucking drivel?

You've been looking for two years. Saved the deposit. Got the mortgage rate locked in. Paid the solicitor. Paid for the survey. Exchange due tomorrow. Then the estate agent rings. The council has offered £20,000 more. Cash buyer. No chain. The vendor takes it. You were tomorrow's buyer. Didn't matter. You still owe the solicitor £2,200. The survey money is gone. Your landlord says he has new tenants lined up for June. A friend explains the logic. A hotel room costs the council thousands a month. Mortgage on that house: maybe half that. The £20,000 premium pays back quickly. The spreadsheet wins. In Richmond, Westminster Council bought a block of 32 flats for about £16m to use as temporary accommodation. Sitting tenants were given notice. One neighbour put it better than any politician: people are being made homeless to house the homeless. Crawley says temporary accommodation now consumes £2 of every £3 it collects in council tax. The state publishes the homeless. It publishes the hotel bill. It publishes the children in temporary accommodation. But not the displaced. The homeless are counted. The displaced are not.

Judge : I find you are not guilty Me : thanks I won't do it again My Lawyer :

When I asked my local barista baddie to spit in my coffee at 7 am on a Tuesday

@KaleiRenay Starbucks VIP just tape the gold card to your license plate atp

LMFAOOOOOO i pulled up to starbucks again before i go to my aunts house and im halfway through my order and the barista goes “is this kalei” LMFAOOOOO BROOOO

@Jonatha67416750 @NotFarLeftAtAll Ironically there arent many bugs left either...we killed them all to grow the food 😂

@NotFarLeftAtAll Controlled crash of the world's economies, so they can push on with the 2030 agenda, you shall eat zee bugs. They were deadly serious. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

It’s not just us Australia is having a “ Cost of Living Crisis “ 30 cans of Coke = £21.00 4 pints of milk = £5 12 eggs = £7.80 Cooking oil = £33.80 Wow..

Justin Timberlake when the officer told him to walk a straight line

When I arrive at work and see that the building is still standing

This is how summer is gonna feel

Congratulations on working 40 hours! You are now free to dissociate for 2 days

@gudronsmoor @orwellvalley @Fox_Claire I pay a service charge AND put money into a 'reserve fund' and am almost always asked the following year to cover the excess as the fund hasnt covered bills. Its fees on top of fees. Anything built in the last 10-15 years tends to be built like crap too so its never ending

@arobbo91 @orwellvalley @Fox_Claire That is astonishing

Last month my service charge was £307 a month. It’s now £432. Same flat. Same building. Same modest one-bed in Bolton. My life is no better. I'm just lucky I don't have dependents. No pay rise that magically tracks it. No vote on whether it’s acceptable. Just a letter telling you what you now owe. People talk about 'home ownership' with leasehold. But try explaining to a household budget that a bill you can’t control has just jumped by over £1,500 a year. And that’s before the equally unaffordable Section 20 fallout we have to pay. I'm grateful I don’t have a family to explain it to why they can't have things and why they now use a food bank. Because I genuinely don’t know how some people do.

@gudronsmoor @orwellvalley @Fox_Claire Oh and building insurance + premiums skyrocketed after Grenfell, they claim they have to use 4 different insurance companies as no company will insure the entire building on their own

@gudronsmoor @orwellvalley @Fox_Claire In my place at least and probably the same for others - communal electricity and water, general maintenance and repairs, fire/smoke alarms, lift maintenance (mine is £100k per lift shaft and my complex has 4), managing agents fees etc. Gardener is on 60k and the 'garden' is 40m²