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Born to an amazing mom and a father who tried his best but just couldn’t get over the demons he brought home as a US Marine coming back from 1968-69 Vietnam. Sometimes I feel like I was a victim of the conflict even thought I was born after he came back. If you think resources are bad for Vets now-imagine the 70’s. He became a police officer. That probably didn’t help with his undiagnosed PTSD. Mom and dad separated and he moved back to Texas. We remained in NC. Mom got a call from his sister that he was missing along with his service pistol (he was working for probation/parole in TX). 3 days later he was waiting in the parking lot of the apartment complex we were living in and killed her. She left the apartment for work and told me to lock the door and if I heard anything unusual to call 911. I was the one who called. She literally sacrificed herself so I could live. Talk about survivor’s guilt. He then fled to TX where his body was found in a stock tank. For that time, no one knew where he was so I was in protective custody away from family as it was thought I may be a potential target. This was in 1984. I was able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and still made something of myself, but I was still broken inside. A life full of toxicity and substance abuse. Abandonment issues and PTSD broke me down. I was a witness to the whole event. I can still hear the shots and the screams. That was 40 years ago.
Now-I’ve worked through my demons. It was hard. I faced down the demons. I have a great relationship with my higher power. Finally found my correct better half. I am happy. I am blessed. I am grateful. And I am a #survivor
Whether or not you like tattoos-the one above is mine and it captures my story in so many ways.
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