Adam Kohrs

That debate was the worst thing I've ever seen & I was in The Star Wars Holiday Special.

here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. some apples are delicious, some taste bad. sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. you know what’s the same every time? doritos

Today @Mintmobile is launching unlimited for just $30 AND bringing back Rick Moranis. Suck it, 2020.

This is an early @blink182 song. She owes us money.

Hey @tomdelonge I see you’re also in DC. I’m stranded here because my flight got cancelled and it would make my year to buy you ALL of your drinks tonight.

Playing drums 10 hours after having my tonsils removed reminds me of that one time I met @travisbarker and he played a show with @blink182 in Santa Barbara after breaking his foot THAT MORNING. #nobodycaresgoharder #drumsdrumsdrums

Siri, show me the worst possible combination of words independent.co.uk/arts-entertain…

Call me crazy, but I don’t think constantly pointing to your junk after a home run in front of 60,000 people and then pointing to the sky to thank God is exactly the kind of recognition God is looking for. #NLCS

Hey @RiversCuomo what would it take to let a Wisconsin boy play drums on a song at the show in Milwaukee tonight? If I screw up, you can slap me in the face as hard as you can in front of God and everyone. #prettyplease

Overheard at the airport: “The divorce papers are coming soon, but there’s nothing stopping me from going upstairs and shooting her in the head.” Sometimes I wonder how the universe decides who gets to be married and who stays single.

Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s

Happy Birthday, @MarkHoppus! ❤️😎🎉

Nothing better than the simple joys of finding 5 bucks in an old pair of pants, or discovering my wife and I had a second daughter over a year ago.

lightsabers are red lightsabers are blue let the past die kill it if you have to

@Kohrs_Light twitter.com/electrolemon/s…

Hey just letting everyone know I scheduled my dentist appointment to fix my broken tooth at 2:30 on Wednesday. Two-thirty. Tooth-hurty. Thanks guys have a great day!

Most career TDs scored in Super Bowl: 1) Jerry Rice - 8 2) Emmitt Smith - 5 3) James White - 4

Badger running backs are dominating the Super Bowl right now.