whalefact

whales are pretty fuckin big

whales are so big they probably wouldn’t fit in most TSA-approved carry-on suitcases

i hope this email is unable to find you as you wander and explore the vast expanse of the unknowable ocean

it was the best of times (eating lots of krill) it was the worst of times (no more krill)

fool me once, i’m a whale fool me twice, still a whale fool me three times, why are you bullying me i’m literally a whale

today is at least one whale’s birthday

@yikesalright the whales know plenty is going on, but are thankfully spared from having to comprehend human speech. and very few have access to twitter (or truth social for that matter). but also they are large :)

@awhalefact Whatchu mean by "largely unaware"

the whales are fucking lucky that they’re largely unaware of everything going on this planet right now

i am listening. i am learning.

@CatapultPotato i have memes ready to go for this

@awhalefact Willy is an Orca which is in the dolphin family and is not a whale. Why are you apologizing to this specific orca?

i hope you whale forgive me one day

@tessdots @daniel_doesnt

@awhalefact @daniel_doesnt yeah. the dolphin? it died. car accident

@wjgrieshop @daniel_doesnt okay to be fair to mr flipper, all dolphins ARE toothed whales!! :)

@daniel_doesnt @awhalefact He was in Flipper, a movie that would've been much better had it been about a whale rather than a dolphin

@daniel_doesnt i don’t think so

@awhalefact Elijah Wood is in free willy?

whales are so small now haha april fools still big

ice can’t destroy our country and murder our neighbors if they all get flattened by a blue whale

whales are so big that if you tried to put one behind your ear like a cool college professor you would instead be absolutely crushed to death (but still kind of cool)

@SufferingAway bye bitch

the whales will not be watching the new hbo harry potter show. you might think this is because very few whales watch any television at all, but it is actually because jk rowling is a terf ass bitch

the whales might be more concerned that today is friday the 13th if not for every day already being such a nightmare

@effiemysweet humpback whales have been documented to protect divers from sharks, so there’s that. it also should be noted that dolphins ARE whales. i’m sure the fish weren’t too happy about it though

@awhalefact I saw a nature film. A pod of dolphins had worked hard to encircle a shoal of fish and out of nowhere a whale came, opened it's big mouth and ate the whole shoal in one gulp. Not one fish was left for the dolphins. Dolphins would disagree with you wrt the kindness of whales😄😄🤷‍♀️

“the world isn’t kind” the whales are and you can be too. it is has never been more important than now