lizzie

That’s why I fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker

a heather gay “game”

Tom's house was broken into and he confronted the burglar and then had to go have eye surgery and my son had to go over and help and then then, my son, he rolled his car five times on the way home

buddy, I was writing 10 page papers without having read the book.

does anyone remember when katie maloney dated that 25 year old named satchel

does anyone else that’s probably autistic hear music play in their head (obvi) but like that’s how I learn lyrics of songs. I just hear it in my head 😭😭😭 every time I explain this to a normal person I sound insane can someone back me up

Instagram soo overstimulating bitch. Fuck is an instant?!

This is the dream outcome of posting a close friends story

wtf was that in euphoria when cassie was a giant 😭😭😭😭😭😭

all roads lead back to an everything bagel with cream cheese

from a young age i knew everybody was wrong and i was right

this dirty soda trend is the nastiest shit ever like are you seriously drinking Sprite Milk

instead of meal prepping on sundays, have u considered taking an impromptu and cost ineffective trip to the grocery store every single day of the week?

My entire adolescence prepared me for this text from my wife this morning

Instagram notes piss me off. Like grow the fuck up and log on to twitter omg

Dear @apple, I don’t know what is going on with your damn keyboard, but I have NEVER in the 19 years of owning iPhones, had to backspace, retype, start over, correct words as much as I am now! And what happened to autocorrect!? Is that not a thing anymore? Please fix this!

hey @Apple fix the damn keyboard before I have an aneurysm

it’s always “you’re autistic” and never “thank you for telling me everything you know about professional wrestling”

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

boyfriend unsent a text and i asked him what it said