Nicken Drumsticks

I just want a love like Swayze and Demi in 'Ghost', where I'm dead for the whole time.

My sign is stop

I hate having a bunch of coworkers with awful B.O. But this is part of the fun at the morgue.

My clairvoyant told me that people who believe in ghosts need to grow up and snap back to reality.

Reach out to me when your first 15 preferences didn't answer.

Too bad the love of your life won't be able to manipulate and change you into being the love of her life.

Whoever invented the coffee table must have been like “fuck every other drink”.

Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas

Apart from my actions what the hell did I do to deserve this

Sometimes they'll throw shit at you. You've just got to laugh in their faeces.

I switch off the light and say to the new cat, “Turn on your night vision.” It's so sweet your teeth will hurt.

The dominant male in a herd of reindeer is called the maindeer send tweet

My kid drank an entire bottle of 'No More Tears' and it made his crying even worse.

@Talk_To_The_Hat Vince.

Got banned for life from the vet's for calling the person who operated on my cat a 'furgeon'.

It appears that my emotional support taipans have not been appreciated at the nursing home.

I just want a love like Swayze and Demi in 'Ghost', where I'm dead for the whole time.

Killian: “Hi, I’m Killian” Ian: “I’m Wendy”

I taught myself how to play the drums and I'm not very good at it. How can I tell if I'm a bad drummer or a bad teacher?