FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

@sofarrsogud

🖊️ Some of my tweets are crafted like a sculpture from a block of wood. Others are pumped out like farts.

Ireland Katılım Şubat 2013
5.8K Takip Edilen21.7K Takipçiler
Sabitlenmiş Tweet
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud·
Got banned for life from working in McDonald's on my first day for shouting YES McCHEF every time an order came in.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud·
[Watching Aquaman with my new girlfriend] ME: *leans in* there's a lot of Sea G I in this movie Sharon lol HER: Get out.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
If McDonald's were to sponsor an indoor sports venue, then they could call it the McArena and the crowd would be all 'Hey McArena (ay)'. Actually this is a terrible idea. Keep scrolling.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Professional Word Gardener
If I ever run for office, I won’t bother people with unsolicited text messages. I will however fight for a four day work week.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Jimbob
Jimbob@Jimbob10441721·
Im not always very sexy but when i jump in my kids paddling pool and all the water flies out i look amazing.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Larry’s Twin 99
Larry’s Twin 99@LarrysTwin99·
There is too much love inside of me to commit to one stripper at a club.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Kip Conlon
Kip Conlon@kipconlon·
Friends say I worry too much. My God, what if they're right??
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Blather Wince Repeat
Blather Wince Repeat@xerxesbigboy·
She blew in on a pair of legs that went on for days, and I’ve got nothing but time. She mewled a tale of infidelity and heartbreak. “Easy doll, save your breath for cooling your soup,” I replied, handing her a steaming-hot bowl of clam chowder. ~ Soup Noir
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Jason, ex Inferis
Jason, ex Inferis@benedictsred·
Of course I know Wario is evil but I always pick him because I’m able to separate the kart from the kartist
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Henry 3000
Henry 3000@Henry_3000·
If you become enraged by people expressing their poorly informed opinions a free and open society might not be the place for you.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Stewnami
Stewnami@stewnami·
I need someone who charges me, not changes me Wait, not a prostitute Well, maybe
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq@VibesBummer·
If yoda offered me a drink I’d ask him if he had any mountain try.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Pasta Fazool
Pasta Fazool@chrisdowning·
I have an Egyptian friend who owns a parking enforcement company called Camel Tow.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
The Taco Bell Chihuahua died from diarrhea. They don’t like to talk about that.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF retweetledi
Avogadro’s House of Moles
I think this is the part where I tell you that we're all in this together and then you punch me.
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Rick Logan
Rick Logan@rickloganhaha·
@sofarrsogud I understand McDonalds is sponsoring the new MLS Chicago Fire Stadium in the South Loop. It’s an outdoor stadium, but it would still work.
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