ben lol

“Less is more” is so true and that’s such a shame because I am A LOT

Me too Mallorie V, me too

Short King is over. I want Little Princes only from now on

Man. DoorDash talks to me like I am one fat fuck

A fun prank to pull on ur doctor friends is to tell them u make $280k (regardless of what’s tru) and watch them question all 10 years of school they went thru to make that much

How do I take my 30% touched-up zoom filter out with me into the real world

The only Pepperidge Farm cookie worth eating is a Milano… (*maybe* a chessmen at tea time………)

@saydutch cleary clurry

@benindaclub shakey shakey stirry stirry

Bartenders love that little shaking thing they do

Guy next to me is lifting weights in flip flops, and that’s just something I have to live with

Alright I’ll bite. What is twenty one pilots

@adelina_yankova thanks ;)

@benindaclub “drives” nice

What drives someone to say “yeah I’ll buy a Hyundai Elantra”

I rly do think having only one toilet at a bar in NY should be illegal

Every day I stray further from the lord’s light* *the idea of having kids

When my phone alarm is going off it’s like. Ok ur actually acting rly needy

@costco520 Lmao I hope u both take it real easy tonite

@benindaclub I read this to my husband bc I thought it was so funny .

When straight guys are like “take it easy, man.” It’s like. “Thanks man! I will”

Nothing makes me feel like more of a pervy freak than setting up this machine at the gym

So why don’t communal bathrooms play music

I love checking my bracket like “who am I rooting for again”