Bernard Valentine

@pipBrouhaha @henrywinter Fair.

@berniev @henrywinter Unbeaten in 20. I think we’ve brought the game to quite a few clubs.

Hope Southampton return to Wembley next month. Fearless, gave everything, good to watch, Jander superb, simply up against a machine & beaten by a worldie. Saints did themselves proud, did the FA Cup proud. Play-off focus now, even chance of automatic. Ipswich next #FACup #MCISOU

@EvelinaHahne @William_Hahne Yes very rare to see a normal Swedish family that would openly mention the third reich. Source: normal Swedish family.

It's so rare for people to see a normal Swedish family that they think it's Third Reich propaganda when they do.

@MaxiGonzalez_23 @liamgallagher The prawn sandwiches.

NAME THIS BOYBAND

@celinatruckstop Met Don once at a darts night. Hope he’s okay.

Good Morning! Our Blind Forklift Operator Donny was driving to work when he hit a bicycle that was abandoned in the bike lane earlier. If the bike is yours, please pay for the forklift damage and emotional suffering Donny received when he briefly thought he hit an animal. A shoe and other personal effects are also available to pick up.

Football fans should start asking for their CEO to be replaced rather than their ‘head coach’

@Dominos_UK I don’t know. People are allowed to take the piss out of MLT but when it’s mega corp who sell shit overpriced pizza and think they are tweeting based on a trend it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

@Dominos_UK Not sure this is fair. Man did world class goals - best to ever do it. You do bad, overpriced pizza. In terms of general weirdness and mental health: is your CEO weirder? Barely a google search away.

why are the boxes square when the pizzas are round? makes you think

@celinatruckstop She is only doing this for social media likes. Not cool.

HERO: We ran out of kitty litter to soak up a diesel spill at Pump 9 so Cashier Belinda volunteered her body to absorb the puddle yesterday. She will remain there until the spill is dry and she can be wrung out into a container. Please do not flick cigarette butts near her as it will severely hamper her chances of winning Employee of the Month for April.

@WhiteHouse Weird.

Hottest country in the world!!!

@JonKatz79 Who did you see?

Being able to see the biggest bands in the world with good seats for like $20 is something I wish everyone could have experienced.

@pmarca Basically twitter is astroturfed?

We now know white nationalism is astroturfed. We now know AI doomerism is astroturfed. What else?

@thecheryorchard @solentsport I think so. Why are the comments below so negative?

@solentsport Huge achievement. We all want success but that success needs to be gradual and built on solid foundations. We’re punching well about our weight in a tough devision.

Pompey are 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 🙌 John Mousinho has guided Portsmouth to a third consecutive season in the Championship, after his team avoided the drop with two games to spare 🔵 💭 How are you feeling, #Pompey fans?

My dream job is playing bass in a the smiths/ solo karaoke band where random kids come up and can pretend to be the moz. Total addressable market is unknown/pittance. Props provided.

@funkentechno One of the first places I went when I moved to London... 20 years ago? Bought the GAS box set.

Stopping at phonica records first.. I'm in love

@celinatruckstop Hope nevaeh was ok. Popped into fill up the tank yesterday. Great service.

An employee neutralized a suspected IUD device by unloading his company issued 9mm into it at point-blank range this morning. The threat was later identified as our new employee polos, which are unusable now. We have contacted the vendor for a full refund. Celina 52 refuses to provide our staff with clothing that can't stop a single bullet.

@SouthamptonFC Honestly not bothered about general merch. But come on saints! This weekend!

Get your Wembley wear 😎 Our exclusive semi-final range is now live:

Omg. Honestly. For two decades. Thought that it was my eyes have seen the glory of the sacred ones behind.

Morrissey i Partille!

Battle of the turtlenecks. The premier league’s nadir.

I just saw THE DRAMA at the cinema. Packed house. This is why cinema exists. Gasps. Inappropriate laughs. Discomfort. This has to be seen on the big screen with your fellow people!