Bethany Simpson

@dominos Please give your whole IT department a big hug from me. I know things are buggy today, but don’t worry, we’re not all grumpy! See you next Friday! 🍕😘

A felicitous pi day to you 😁

Daylight savings is so great. Poor Arizona. #makeitstop

@PerdueChicken Please give raises to the team who created these. Mmm. 👍👍👍

Weird. Today’s Wordle was please-stop-daylight-savings. 🤷‍♀️👍

So grateful I can use fewer candles today. Daylight savings is the best. 🕯️☕️ #pleasestop

I use the same starting word every morning for Wordle, today was my got-it-in-one. 🧐⛳️😅

Daylight savings is the greatest. I’m working on a poem. How do you rhyme “three kids and a cat” with “awake at 4:30?” 🥹

I own a Meta Quest. It’s fun. And it’s no more the future than Google Glass or second life were. It’s a quirky gaming device. (The lenses literally fog up when you breathe.) That’s all it will ever be. #heymark

Loki episode 5 👍👍👍

It’s 9p the day after daylight savings, and two of the kiddos and the cat are still going strong. #thankyoubenjaminfranklin

@MountainDew 1072 👍

😅 From my sister the dentist

I washed a credit card with soap and water today. 🙃 #useditatthegasstation

9 Chinese doctors just landed in Rome with 1000 ventilators & other equipment. Grocery stores are designating specific times for vulnerable shoppers. And schools are providing food for students, even when closed. Don't focus on the selfish acts, focus on the beautiful ones. 💪💪

😅

The tricky part of you-know-what is people spread it before they know they have it. So why don't we all act as if we have it, and be extra careful with ALL germs! (What if this actually made us better at not spreading thungs like the flu. There are always going to be germs.) 🙃

@wefivekings I'm open to feedback, stole this from a college professor. Seemed more accurate than 4% of the global population is doomed.

@bethanysimpson When you reason from a false premise, don’t be surprised if your conclusion is wildly inaccurate.