Brew-Ha

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Brew-Ha

Brew-Ha

@blaha_Who

https://t.co/YUCCMGjXNB https://t.co/oKr240zyuj

Texas Katılım Aralık 2011
5.6K Takip Edilen7.1K Takipçiler
Sabitlenmiş Tweet
Brew-Ha
Brew-Ha@blaha_Who·
No officer, my car was already upside down when I got here.
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
The good thing about having a husband who never listens is being able to say “I already told you that.” Whether you did or not, he’ll never know the difference.
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Benny Boy
Benny Boy@Camel_Crushin·
I’m on capri sun number three and ready to start some shit.
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Marcmywords
Marcmywords@Marcmywords2·
Life is the crap that happens to you while you’re doing something else.
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
When I lose a pound, I picture a pound of butter for context. Then I’m all like mmm butter...
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
No man cave is complete until there’s a stolen three-way sign on the wall.
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Dreamer
Dreamer@ElgatoEsmio·
but why, OF ALL PLACES, was she selling seashells by the seashore?
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Sooz
Sooz@CruisinSoozan·
Coworker talking in circles this morning, like, land your plane girl I got shit to do.
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
I would go to happy hour, but it lasts the whole hour. I’m not sure I’m THAT happy.
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DaddyJew
DaddyJew@DaddyJew·
you can tell a lot about a woman by the way she breaks a beer bottle over your head
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
OK, so maybe I’ve been the drunk aunt before, but really haven’t we all?
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Tony P.
Tony P.@Tbone7219·
For Halloween, I'm going as a vodka drinking asshole who no longer cares about his appearance and doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks.
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Tony P.
Tony P.@Tbone7219·
I just slammed my brakes so hard I found $18.50 in loose change, empty Zima bottles, a dead hooker, and a Blockbuster tape of "Encino Man."
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
Not to brag, but I had anxiety long before it was cool.
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MisoSilly
MisoSilly@SeiYoung83·
I wish men would be like “chores before whores”
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MisoSilly
MisoSilly@SeiYoung83·
Farted and let me tell you, dog did not like it.
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MisoSilly
MisoSilly@SeiYoung83·
Only noobs who suck your dick call it X
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MisoSilly
MisoSilly@SeiYoung83·
Well, would ya look at that. No overdraft fees since the marital separation.
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MisoSilly
MisoSilly@SeiYoung83·
Be the reason twitter made the “likes”private
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Tony P.
Tony P.@Tbone7219·
How old does someone have to be before you can officially call them a fucking asshole? Please say 6
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Ⓜ️isterD
Ⓜ️isterD@MisterD78UK·
It could've been love but then you find out they weren't joking about their pet racoons
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