you from the evil universe

* me, at a job interview* interviewer: so where do u see urself in 5 years? me, in my mind: brood queen for alien hive me, outloud: brood queen for alien hive :)

got a job app that listed their desired pay as "16.56-17.68" ?? why so specific

@vaecorvid i cant even look at this i feel insane every time i do, you went off so hard here

im so sad this color combo for this armor is locked behind pvp...i am not doing pvp but its so good

Lot of great contenders but this is maybe the best tweet that also perfectly captures the site's spirit.

still thinking abt this

two customers going "its gonna be 40 right? i think i did my math right. yeah" and then took out two twenties before i finished ringing. they were getting two 25 dollar items and a 13 dollar item. girl.......

woman just came in and said Im going to a burlesque show what should i get to wear. bro i dont fucking know????

i can think of multiple other places i go to that ive seen the "we dont get pennies anymore" signs up

told someone their total was getting rounded bcus we dont get pennies anymore and she went "what??? why not??" and when i told her its bcus they stopped making them she said "since when!?!?!?!?" do you live under a rock.

i love finding items somebody tried to hide and putting them away

like i had to go stand in the backroom for a minute

just pulled a muscle in my neck that hurt so bad it made me nauseous

@ursula_cat literally like how. how are u doing this.

@blightcharm I feel like that leaves the balance a little too precarious for the sharper half

just found out when my boss makes deviled eggs they cut them like, horizonal. like this

@RotomDex I ASKED AND THEY WERE LIKE oh it just tips a little bit to the side SO I DONT KNOW

"youve gone there like twice in the past week" haha yeah......

taco bell dinner will get me through the day

also another store had to ASK for a sign to put up abt it, u can rlly tell nobody in our dumb ass corporate office has worked in a store. ppl already dont read signs now imagine trying to round up 2 pennies on someone without at least being able to point at a sign

my work finally gave up always rounding down bcus of no more pennies LMFAOOO