Bryan Metcalf

South Carolina BBQ is by far the most superior bbq in the United States

Let's unpack this.. What if the White House has no intention of reopening the Strait of Hormuz? What if this war is really about ships & tariffs? I had a long discussion with senior DOE official yesterday on background. I can’t share any details but it’s clear everyone’s Strait of Hormuz calculus is wrong. We need to go back to the drawing boards. That's it. That's the tweet. Now a hypothetical 🧵 with my personal thoughts.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

SOLA SCRIPTURA The rallying cry of the Protestant Reformation. Yet it has serious logical and historical problems. The end result being you can only keep one or the other, making it unworkable as a Final Arbiter of Truth. 🧵

Sola Scriptura is functionally "Scripture according to my interpretation," backed by whatever men agree with me. It is the exaltation of private judgment over the Bible, reinforced by other men who share that same judgment. Every time a Protestant declares something to be "biblical," he is either appealing to his own interpretation of the text or to heretics like John MacArthur to validate that interpretation.

Chairman of the JCS Gen. Dan Caine: "The A-10 Warthog is now in the fight across the southern flank and is hunting and killing fast attack watercraft in the Straits of Hormuz."

THIS IS WILD… Passenger says United denied a simple request that could literally save their life. Severe peanut allergy. One exposure = possible fatal reaction. All they asked for? A small buffer zone on the plane. Instead… they were told to basically deal with it and “email the company.” On a packed flight where people are eating inches away… That’s not a minor issue. That’s life or death. Do airlines have a responsibility here… or is this asking too much? ⬇️ 🇺🇸

What's the hill you're willing to die on?