boy⁷

spring cleaning just cost future a ton of money 💀

i just absolutely destroyed the countertops in my apartment oh my god 💀💀💀💀

@SkinnyTuna hydrogen peroxide my man

havent been buying cotton swabs bc i know stickin em in your ears is bad for you. but im at the end of my rope with this goop man

I should have killed myself last year

as a person who already assumes she deserves Cosmic Punishment, i would be no fun whatsoever for jigsaw. Yeah man, I’m fundamentally evil. No arguments. Strap me into the Chest Exploder 3000

smells like summer

she only needs one popcorn

喫煙可の店で子供いるからってタバコ控える理由がわからぬ 隣に居ようがガンガンに吸うぞ

@ItalianFiesta i wouldnt tell a soul if i made these and ate them m

They in da car eatin BALLS OF BUTTER

@becca_schmecca @maisonfrogiela same. so confused how people get chosen to be in the bridal party….?

@maisonfrogiela never even got to be in the bridal party of people i considered my closest friends which made me realize the way I view friendship and closeness is vastly different from the way most people do in this essay i will

I think the only diagnostic criteria you need for adult woman autism is if she’s already 27+ and has never been invited to a bachelorette party

@maisonfrogiela 32 never even been to a wedding i wasnt a plus one at….

@lestertoes you can slip an egg into your asshole and it'd be hot enough in there to boil it. bet you can't do that with your ear

@coquettegyu @lestertoes LOL

yk what i don’t get? how u can measure temperature both in ur asshole or in ur ear, like surely ur asshole is gonna be hotter than ur ear

@heyekp cat*

@heyekp lol when i worked with kids i told this 6 yo girl my car has the same name as her and she was noooot happy about it at all 😂

I will always be salty over the fact that my all time favorite baby boy name feels off limits bc I married into a family where there have been multiple dogs already with the same name

yah i'm m 4 m.... i'm k 4 k... dragons do not interact #originalcharacters

最近のアイドル、インスタで匂わせとか多すぎて怖いからもうマドンソクのインスタしか見てない

a crows been hanging out on my balcony lately. how do i befriend it

fuuuuuuuuuck

約20年前のゴールデンウィーク ロッカーに預けた荷物全て盗まれるギャル…切ない😂