Michelle “Liam’s Mom”

(Smugly) Actually your friend 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 himself

Name an actor who could play Bluto. Maybe Gerard Butler if he started drinking even more. OR tom hardy if he didn’t change a thing…

I wouldn’t be excited about being in a witness protection program, but I do think I could get used to it. Oh, now I’m Laura who works at the gas station? Fine by me

My dad has a pretty good bit where he says “Oh NO! Not the scariest ever, Jason Bateman!” whenever he’s cast as a villain. Covering his eyes “this guy gives me nightmares”

This is how I need to be talking

Are fairies women

Joseph Gordon-Levitt; Maybe we don’t even have to look alike? Suspend disbelief, ya know? Rian Johnson: Joe. Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Yeah. I figured. But hey. Now everyone gets to see what I’d look like as young Bruce Willis, right? Rian Johnson (in way too deep): Yes. Yes we do

In the pre check line asking if I can take off my shoes anyway

@gronbus Absolutely

100 altima drivers vs 1 gorilla

Alex Honnold has an abnormality in his amygdala that makes him a bitch

It must have felt so awesome to come up with the idea “Cookie Monster”

If I was in a band I would love getting to say stuff like “I am on vocal rest due to Tour”

Oh Latin is a written language? Then how am I speaking it to a flight attendant

I’m like the Equalizer if he was a beautiful girl who wasn’t very courageous

Not now kitten, daddy's busy fostering a hostile work environment

Spitting up on myself in the spirit tunnel

I’m not gonna like change careers or anything, but I think i would be a good genie. I would like hanging out in the lamp

Does Freddy Krueger himself have dreams?

@matthewhayesiii I want to see them all in action

@boymommindset Terrible

A man of Shoes has moved in

Playful Instinct