Brenna Van Cleve

I wonder about people who buy self-help books at a used book store. The fact that it's there probably indicates it wasn't very helpful.

The internet said that simmering vinegar and water would eliminate the fried chicken smell in my kitchen, so now I’m walking through the adjoining rooms with a steaming pot like a witch burning sage. Apologies to my Salem ancestors.

It’s 2076 and a grandchild’s comment stirs my memory. “‘Robotic’ used to mean cold and mechanical, maybe even austere, but without an air of excellence or beauty.” My adult children nod reassuringly as the microwave chuckles.

@luinalaska Ambrosia salad is a Midwestern thing. I grew up with a cranberry-pineapple version served at Thanksgiving. This is what I make for “bring a dish from your culture” potlucks.

I just want to appreciate this post. Thank you. There are certain foods that, even as a small child, infuriated me. This is top five. The ambrosia salad. Even the name annoys me. This list of ingredients does not belong together as an edible product in this form. It’s simply incorrect. I don’t know how else to explain it. This isn’t even about taste or texture. It’s about objective correctness.

@mrs_alyse My grandmother said they were too poor to keep the cream from their cows to make butter. They would keep the skim milk, sell the cream, and use lard from their pigs for all of their baking.

My grandmothers only ever used Crisco/Oilio, and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Almost nothing was made from scratch either. They may have done that when they were younger. By the time I came around, it was frozen meals, canned soups, and box cakes.

Me: That new podcast was giving fundie cult vibes, but maybe that was just a bad first impression. I’ll give it another chance. The very next podcast episode: PubLIc sChoOl pAReNtS dOn’T EveN LiKe THeiR cHilDReN!!

Watching the astronauts’ helicopters land safely on the carrier the way you wait to see your friend go in their house before driving away.

@SandyofCthulhu An upscale cupcake place donated leftovers every week to the crisis pregnancy center I worked at over a decade ago. Frozen to maintain some freshness.

Okay let's discuss why Krispy Kreme does this: 1) obviously, they miscalculated how many donuts to make that day. They don't WANT to waste the food. Since you can't predict your customers, sometimes you will have too much food. 2) Because they're a business, they can't just hand out the donuts for free at day's end, or they won't be able to sell them. 3) So the solution is "give them to charity". The problem here is that the litigious nature of modern America means that they will absolutely be sued when some moron chokes on a pecan chunk. It's not worth the risk. 4) The next step is to argue "The law needs to hold Krispy Kreme guiltless if they give away their extra food." That all sounds fine and well, BUT I guarantee that the city will have a whole list of rules a food donation has to follow to be immune from lawsuits. And Krispy Kreme has clueless teenagers throwing out the donuts, so they will absolutely fail to follow all the rules. 5) the only way this could readily work in the USA without being crushed under the burden of bureaucracy or lawsuits would be if each individual Krispy Kreme had a specific charity who came by at night to pick up the extra donuts. People they knew and trusted. Get rid of the lawyers and allow for common sense and that food can be donated lightning fast.

I moved the piano yesterday. Realized today it’s blocking my favorite electrical outlet for vacuuming :( But the old location has an outlet that is even more centrally located that I can now use :) In tomorrow’s soap drama I’ll learn the tile grout is supposed to look like that.

@jammles9 This happened to my mom’s coworker in the 90s. Everyone tried to warn her, but she went with the guy to the Middle East and was never heard from again.

Does anyone remember the movie Not Without My Daughter? It’s based on a true story after the Iranian Revolution. An American woman marries an Iranian man and they have a daughter together. He convinces her to travel to Iran so his family can meet their child. Once they arrive, she realizes the trip was never meant to be temporary. She and her daughter are suddenly trapped in Iran with no way to leave. They did manage to escape. But wow when I was younger, this was such an eye-opener of the evil that happens in our world.

@metra_vane @AlaskaBird__

@brennabench @AlaskaBird__ That's a Moe Howard.

Candace wouldn’t understand this but almost every white mother gave their daughter a Dorthy Hamill haircut in the 90s, including mine. It’s a source of trauma for most of us as we mistaken for little boys. If you see a millennial woman with super long hair (like Erika & me), you can bet the farm she had a super short haircut before puberty. It’s so prevalent, it’s a TikTok trend…look it up!

I didn’t like matcha 10 years ago and I’m not willing to pay $8 to give it another chance. Y’all can be trendy and fun without me ✌️

Google is down. Husband: “Is this in Revelation??”

The fuel pump in my Highlander went bad and Toyota made it as painless as possible to get it replaced which is good. But now I know how far my car will actually go before it runs out of gas and it’s 100 MILES more than I thought.

FRODO: I wish this circus had never come to me. I wish none of these monkeys were ever mine GANDALF: so do all who live to manage such circuses and monkeys. but that is not for them to decide. all we have to decide what to do with the monkeys and circuses that are given to us

The era of local business names beginning with A in order to appear earlier in the phone book is being replaced by salesmen wearing Amazon blue so that you’ll actually open the front door after glancing at the doorbell camera notification.

Accidentally bought a soap dispenser that plays Nutcracker music with each press. What a time to be alive.

I didn't used to worry about AI replacing me, but my husband's car makes a ding noise when the traffic light turns green, so now I'm not so sure.

You can teach your kids to learn from others' mistakes and be humble about it. I'm glad I grew up hearing "This is a good reminder to us to not ___. " I can't even imagine my mom's voice saying "You know what causes that, right?"

My friend is living a Hallmark movie right now. She's an attorney who moved to a small town in Texas. She attended the Christmas tree lighting ceremony and someone gave her a fortune cookie about friendship, then she hit it off with a cute cashier at the antique store!