RainbowBrittles614

Fuckin remember how this new presidency brought The New Radicals together? What’s next? Air Bud becomes Secretary of Defense?

when I wake up tomorrow about 15 minutes before my alarm

I’ve reached the point where I need to ask for the dairy-free rumchata

I had a dream last night that @LAYS and the @TheDecemberists did a collab and had themed chips. One of them being @colinmeloy buffalo and ranch chips. What other flavors would there be and please let this become a thing

I’m sorry what

Internally I’m Billy Joel performing in Moscow, 1987

In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks ElonOwesYou100Dollars.com

He sounds like a guy yelling at random people on 34th Street with a karaoke speaker

baby: googoo, gah gah kamala harris:

“I have been a leader on fertilization.” No, that’s Nick Cannon

imagine explaining this to abraham lincoln

👏KEEP👏GUS👏WALZ'S👏NAME👏OUT👏YO'👏DAMN👏MOUTH👏👏HE👏LOVES👏HIS👏DAD👏AND👏AIN'T👏AFRAID👏TO👏SHOW👏THAT👏SHIT👏AND👏WHATNOT!👏

Photo from Todd Heisler of The New York Times.

Nancy showing up to the funeral of the man she killed... I don't know a better nonna

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck when they get married again in 20 years

The crispiest air is the air in the Mexico pavilion at EPCOT and that’s scientific fact

me as a dog turns the corner

@GovTimWalz You are truly the father figure that this country needs. There are millions of people who need a hug right now. Thank you for being you.

Summer is for pup cups

The men of America after hearing Tim Walz speak

#bachelorette imagine being a stand-up comedian who paid to be in a comedy festival and the bachelors walk in I would ask For my money back and a headliner slot