as you wish

eye doctor: you should see a home going in and out of focus me: [choking up] ok

i was bad and had a sleeve of saltines and now i'm bloated . im becoming an almond mom in real time

turning the kindle page requires a tenderness that feels unusually sexual

a kindle is the perfect device. cumbersome to use. hairlike sensitivity with little utility. Practically immortal. tenuous internet connection and near impossible to find books on. an erotic dance just to turn the page or adjust any visual setting. we will never get higher

🥺

it’s best not to dig into to deep the political opinions of your friends lest you find out they are fucking dumb

kind of incredible that this nation is run by men, to be sure, but also women with uncannily tight skin and harkonnen lips

not even going to disclaim this with a “not to be dramatic” precursor because aside from the bible, the count of monte cristo is the greatest literary work over 1000 pages ever penned

self-discipline compelled me to do something i really did not want to do

unhealthiest person you have ever met at your sedentary job telling you about how american food causes cancer

@savbrads i get so full of righteous indignation about paris, texas. feeling like it is sympathetic because it is visually beautiful is why it's a 5 star movie

half star reviews of my letterboxd top four

you can be having a great day and then all of the sudden you have to open up a tesla door

i just don't think someone whose mouth you have tasted the inside of should be coming up as 'someone you may know' on facebook, is all

i never thought i was into science fiction but i finally broke down and watched dune and yes, this is one of those rare instances in which it is exactly what every person is saying it is

@hostileworm oof...it's a summer flavor i believe but paired with the darkest chocolate, inside a cone? I'm sick with longing right now thinking about it

@brjork oo idk if i’ve had that one

miss jeni put her WHOLE FUCKING PUSSY into this one

@local__celeb you're right....or if you're like me you can leave the house with your phone on 5%

i do miss when phones had short battery lives. leaning into some stranger, clutching their knee...their inner leg... yelling, " do you have a charger?" at a party ...we don't have that anymore. it's been lost...like bodies of the easter island heads...lost

@millerIowlife Your wife is always lighting you up, isn't she the one who called you oy mista? I love her. She's a queen

god damn it

@freakypino and i always suspected candy wife was an island gyal

knowing tom hanks, alysa liu, and ryan coogler are all from oakland is tickling me pink