Abner Brown

I will stop their Christmas service if it's the last thing I do.

@chauffeurjim I was thinking along the lines of: the dolt who pinches my sun cream and bags the best lounger will be on latrine duty tomorrow.

With the pope about to issue an encyclical, I wonder what pronouncements we can expect from @brown_abner in the next few days?

@PouncerSD Wishing your mum all the very best for a swift recovery.

@chauffeurjim @HyggeJem @JocastaMoney @foxyfacedcharl1 @tatchester @Condicote7000 Why Jim - there was me thinking you only like me for the can of Castrol multi grade that I keep in the shed. As a matter of fact I was planning a return when the air turns crisp and chill - bank holiday Monday, aroundabout bbq time.

@brown_abner @HyggeJem @JocastaMoney @foxyfacedcharl1 @tatchester @Condicote7000 Evenin’, Mr Brown. Funny thing, this place ain’t quite the same without you prowlin’ about, makin’ mischief and callin’ it order. Reckon you might wander back one day, just to keep us all on our toes. I’d have the motor runnin’.

Today I learned there is an animal Twitter where they just sit around roasting each other all day long.

@HyggeJem @JocastaMoney @chauffeurjim @foxyfacedcharl1 @tatchester @Condicote7000 and a good many others also put in an appearance, if they can be persuaded out of the Drop of Dew.

@JocastaMoney One of my favourite twitters, nearer Christmas, is the Box of Delights twitter where the main characters all interact together. I know they have @brown_abner and @chauffeurjim

@chauffeurjim @zebsoanes Too Shakespearean? Hmph. Dress thy words in all the finery thou wilt - but take heed. When speech grows fat with flourish and starved of sense, it betrays thee. And I have ever found such men the easiest to break… for all their grand talk, there is little of substance within.

A very worthy interpretation of Sir Alec Guinness, sir. If @brown_abner had been given the part, I suspect he’d have played it rather too Shakespearean. @zebsoanes #BBCToday

@MarksTweetPlace @PouncerSD @foxyfacedcharl1 @TheKnowe @Condicote7000 @tatchester @BoxOfDelights84 @chauffeurjim @BoyWaterfall @TatchesterC May splendiferous scrobblings attend your every endeavour, Mark!

Friday Hugs x Stay safe x Be Kind x #FF @PouncerSD @foxyfacedcharl1 @brown_abner  @TheKnowe @Condicote7000 @tatchester @BoxOfDelights84  @chauffeurjim @BoyWaterfall @TatchesterC

@chauffeurjim @MarksTweetPlace @PouncerSD @foxyfacedcharl1 @TheKnowe @Condicote7000 @tatchester @BoxOfDelights84 @BoyWaterfall @TatchesterC I've been with Arnold too much - he gets all lost in time, too.

@brown_abner @MarksTweetPlace @PouncerSD @foxyfacedcharl1 @TheKnowe @Condicote7000 @tatchester @BoxOfDelights84 @BoyWaterfall @TatchesterC ‘Old yer ‘orses. Ain’t the Grand National tomorrow? What’s his reverence playing at?

Friday Hugs x Stay safe x Be Kind x #FF @PouncerSD @foxyfacedcharl1 @brown_abner  @TheKnowe @Condicote7000 @tatchester @BoxOfDelights84  @chauffeurjim @BoyWaterfall @TatchesterC

@PeterPurplePim @CarolineLouisa6 @chubbyjoe1 @PouncerSD @foxyfacedcharl1 @tatchester @bobthebakers He knows it's absolutely forbidden to restrict the right to trial by a jury of scrobblers. I don't like the look of them at all.

Well, what else would you expect from one of the Joneses?! You do see who it is, don't you?! 😄 @brown_abner @CarolineLouisa6 @chubbyjoe1 @PouncerSD @foxyfacedcharl1 @tatchester @bobthebakers

Just dropping back in to share this simply splendiferous new Box of Delights podcast. youtu.be/UOO6GZ5NJlM

@PouncerSD Wishing you both well and your mum a swift and full recovery. X

@PouncerSD I'm sure I'll be back, like the bad penny that always Abner is. x

I'm not going to give support to a platform that enables and encourages abuse. Abner will continue posting over at Bluesky bsky.app/profile/brown-… but unless and until X gets its house in order, this account will be on pause. Hope to see you later.

Either Chesters Missionary College exists in a bubble of reality that is immune to extreme weather, or the Condicote Bugle has been ever so slightly exaggerating the weather forecast.

@Condicote7000 @SargeCraig667 😂🤣

@brown_abner @SargeCraig667 If you get stuck just cup your hands as well and the hassistant is bound to know what you're after

Feeling bereft: I've just suffered an unexplained but overwhelming urge to pop into Woolworths and buy a quarter of pick-n-mix (heavy on Murray Mints and Lion Toffee), a can of white emulsion and 6 yards of bell wire.

The weather is extreme and unpredictable. Despots with giant egos stalk the land. Nobody and nothing is safe, even Christmas. Meanwhile, at Chesters we are doing jigsaws and toasting choirboys, and wondering what's gone wrong with the world?

@Condicote7000 @SargeCraig667 Well I know it is gigantulous. Beyond that I'm going to have to busk it, but how many gigantulous items can there be in the Woolies kitchenware section?

@brown_abner @SargeCraig667 As long as you know what a jorum is. That young Master Harker never waits to find out!

@Condicote7000 @SargeCraig667 Splendid notion - I expect I can get a jorum at Woolies.

@SargeCraig667 @brown_abner Might I suggest a posset as the panacea to your ills?

@SargeCraig667 Fortunately Mr Hawlings' box enables one to enter the past and, specifically, FW Woolworths, 23 The High Street, Tatchester, circa 1976.

@brown_abner About Woolworths Guv.....you may have a long trip to the 'nearest branch'

@SargeCraig667 Despite existing on a plane outside time, space and morality, Animus insists on synchronizing his watch with the speaking clock.

@brown_abner It's Christmas Eve in the Julian calendar. Animos never did upgrade his timepiece back in 1752.

The good news is that Animus has whipped-up a first rate blizzard and the clergy definitely won't be reaching the cathedral. The bad news is that, due to Condicote Parish Council no longer clearing the pavements, we are stuck in this dratted bunker until Christmas.