Ian Cage

Dear @JustEatUK. Please do not ask me to review your food, like it was served up by @GordonRamsay. It was a chicken Kebab ffs. Grilled chicken, salad, and bread. What exactly could go wrong? It arrived, I chewed, and at some point tomorrow, I may eject it; what more can I say?

Gotta love this 🤣

@beckymil1 Nottinghamshire?

Where I’m from, we greet people by saying “Ayup Duck, ow thee guin’ on?” Where am I from?

@jadexberry Noooo!! Definitely not 🖤❤️

Would you kick me out?🥺

@unitedhan @piersmorgan They'll still win the Quad... It'll just be a Quadbottle 🤷‍♂️ Honestly, Arsenal fans are the worst set of people. Piers Morgan tops the list of the most dislikeable twats in the history of everything too

@piersmorgan We’re irrelevant yet you’re mentioning us? Go bottle a fourth title

So, Arsenal are still top and will still win the League, City are still 2nd, United are still irrelevant, Liverpool are still half as good as last year, Chelsea are still useless, and Spurs will still be relegated. Love, Bottle-Job. 😘

@DevilsR40007 @TheAthleticFC Unless it's a Brentford player doing it against a Fulham player. Then it's okay

@TheAthleticFC No, its only a head butt. If he'd of brushed his hair and knocked the bobble out its a definate red

Was Gabriel fortunate not to be sent off for this clash with Erling Haaland?

@TheAthleticFC If this was Casemiro or Martinez for United it'd be a huge fine and a 4 game ban at least. Different rules for other teams as usual

@SJohnsonSport @TheAthleticFC Who's that tw*t from Argentina......? Love the United fans ❤️🖤🤍

@StretfordPaddck There was NO contact. Palmer should get a yellow for that dive

Looks outside the box that. #MUFC

@Wes_3395 @StretfordPaddck I don't actually disagree with you, but Carrick is now in the ironic position where he has to play a kid he's had zero faith in. All his talk of United DNA and trusting the academy hasn't really happened yet. Only now through no choice.

@cagey_ @StretfordPaddck Surely it's at a point where trust is irrelevant though, we're at flat out necessity at this point 😅

🚨🚆 #MUFC’s travelling squad for tomorrow’s trip to London has been revealed. Michael Carrick has 21 players available for the clash with Chelsea at Stamford Bridge and it’s now been confirmed Leny Yoro is out injured so he’s no travelling with the squad 🔴👀 [MEN]

@Wes_3395 @StretfordPaddck Carrick doesn't seem to trust 19 year old Ayden Heaven, so I doubt he trusts 18 year old Godwil Kukonki much either

@StretfordPaddck How is Kukonki not going???

@utdreport Nope, nowhere near a foul

Do you think this should’ve been a foul?

@AliceTalksFooty Wasn't a foul, no need to any checks. Unless you're booking Bruno for simulation like Cunha was

Will VAR check the Bruno foul in build up?

@StretfordPaddck Maz is playing like Dalot (not a compliment), Yoro shaky, Martinez (feels like he's been rushed back out of panic), Shaw also playing like Dalot (again, not a compliment).

We need to be careful here, the backline have been absolutely suspect so far. 32’ | 🔴 0-2 ⚪️ | #MUFC

@StretfordPaddck I think they're still on fucking holiday

Are the players communicating?What on earth was that leading up to that goal… #MUFC

@UtdMaI Why? He's a Madrid legend, not a United legend. There's plenty of actual legends that would deserve a statue before Judas Ronaldo

Does Cristiano Ronaldo deserve a statue at Old Trafford?

@Matt_Pinner Diabetes. Also, who the hell keeps chocolate in the fridge? Psychopaths

What’s your first thought when you see this fridge?

@UnitedEldin @FabrizioRomano Yeah, loyalty... Because his agent definitely wouldn't have fabricated interest from elsewhere to get the player a better contract with better wages. Definitely wouldn't have happened... 🙄

🚨💛🖤 BREAKING: Nico Schlotterbeck has agreed new deal at Borussia Dortmund until June 2031. Improved salary, he’ll be among best paid players at BVB. ✍🏼 Schlotterbeck stays despite interest from several clubs in Europe.

@raphnelson_abah What Rooney sacrificed on the pitch so CR7 could flourish and get his Judas move to Madrid was underrated. Rooney is always going to be more of a United legend than CR7. Plus CR7 ruined whatever legacy he had by talking shit to Piers fucking Morgan to engineer another Judas move

Between Rooney and Ronaldo, who is a greater man United legend ?? #MUFC 👊🏾🛑👹

@ManUnitedZone I do this at work, we get new people in, they've got to learn a new process or multiple processes all whilst being 'the new kid'. I check in on them, ask how they're doing and try to help them if they're struggling or need any advice. Making people feel valued is underestimated.

🚨Around Carrington, Bruno Fernandes will often stop young players in the corridor for a chat and to ask how they’re progressing. He also contacts players while they’re out on loan, asking them for updates on how they’re getting on and ensuring they still feel involved in what is going on at United. [@TheAthleticFC]

@oelma__ There should NEVER be leftover bacon! It's a sin

What do you do with leftover bacon?