cameronstoner.eth

Do not trust the years when nothing goes wrong. those are the quiet years, when God is turning his face from you, or preparing the furnace. the man who lives through ten years of ease becomes soft in the bone. he thinks he is strong because nothing has tested him. he thinks he is blessed when he is only forgotten. blessing is when the storm comes and you are still standing, because you used the quiet years to build a spine. praise for the good years, but do not believe them. they are only the inhale before the long exhale. keep watch while they feast, for one who keeps watch when all is well is called when all is not well

The price of genius…your children will inherit the sickness too

rock bottom is sacred ground

The smartest men in the world all face this same battle

Panic attacks will be the death of me

My friends sleep eight hours and wake up complaining they are tired, and i look at them from across a room that has not seen rest in years and i think, you do not know how blessed you are to be able to close your eyes and trust that the world will still be there when you open them

いいか？海外はさ、こういう時に「Fuck my chud life」と言って、ライアン・ゴズリングの画像や動画をアップします。

Bipolar is hell

“From the America near my house”

"When the red star of Regulus aligns just before dawn in the gaze of the Sphinx, a new knowledge shall come into the world.” Hack Reality

Being able to transmute pain is a top tier human skill - most just let it rot inside them like poison in a well

are you sure you’re okay?

my final act of love.

The cruel paradox of outliers is that they can love you with terrifying depth and still appear affectively absent. It is profoundly difficult for outliers to love in a manner that remains legible or socially acceptable. They often struggle with love, and with the burden of understanding themselves too deeply, yet they still carry an intense longing for connection with others. Their mode of connection will look very different from what social norms say it should look like; their love arrives in remembering your allergies, noticing the slight pause when discomfort enters you, saying little yet listening with exact attentiveness, then speaking at length and offering their inner world as a form of affection. They appear strange, doing things that seem strange. To most outsiders, they may register as toxic, emotionally unavailable, or as the kind of person a girl should avoid. They can seem like people who do not care, or who do not know how to love. What people fail to understand is that they do love, and they love profoundly, and they care with equal force. They simply do not know how to express it without becoming performative, because they know performativity is false, and they exist beyond that register. They want to ensure that what they offer is real, but it is all so immense that it barely permits movement. But it is intense and fierce; it can make a person question the boundary between moral and immoral. They are extraordinary lovers. They simply will not always come speak to you constantly or ask how you are in conventional ways; instead, they may hear something in your voice and make you a glass of orange juice because you once mentioned how much you liked it. They are not the kind of people who keep an inventory of what they have done for you; they will do much, and they will do it all quietly. But it is hard for them, and my heart goes out to every person misunderstood as someone incapable of care or love simply because they do not know how to express it. I know you do. I see you.

Allow me to add more context to this: From a very young age, when I got my own space in my parents house, till when I moved out, I started living like this. I handled everything myself. I cleaned my space, washed my clothes, cooked my meals; I’m actually a good cook—and ran my errands. I was completely self-reliant. If something needed to be done, I did it myself. I don’t ask for help. I enjoyed my own company, and when I started sailing, it intensified the solitude. It made me feel strong and in control. But here’s the downside: when you get used to doing everything alone, relationship with a woman becomes difficult. Letting a woman into my space felt less like companionship and more like an intrusion of my privacy. I had grown too comfortable being by myself. My mindset was this: anything you can do for me, I can do for myself. I was overly guarded. Asking for help felt like weakness. Allowing someone to support me made me feel vulnerable. I had to unlearn that. I had to learn how to open up, to share space, to accept help without feeling like I was losing control. Self-reliance and solitude have their strengths. You’re less likely to be disappointed because you expect little from others. But if you’re not careful, it can isolate you. And once it settles in too deeply, it becomes hard to let anyone close.

if you recognize this screen your probably a millionaire rn

photos I took in nyc blizzard

Life will never give you a bigger challenge than you can handle. When you get the call for the hero's journey, don't refuse it. The universe already knows that you're a retard. It's priced in.

Nobody who ever did anything worth remembering believed in themselves first that's the scam they sell you so you stay frozen waiting for a feeling that only comes after you've already jumped, i built everything i have on pure terror and spite, hands shaking the whole time, faith didn't show up until i was already bleeding and by then i didn't even need it anymore i just needed stitches, the motivational industry exists to keep you preparing to begin, buying books about starting, watching videos about doing, and that's the trap you feel productive because you consumed something about productivity and you go to sleep full but you built nothing, the man who changes his life doesn't feel ready he feels sick he feels wrong he does it anyway and his body learns before his mind catches up and six months later someone asks him how he got here and he says i don't know i just didn't stop and that's the whole gospel, that's the entire scripture, moses didn't believe he stuttered and went anyway, every prophet argued with God first said no first said take someone else and God said i didn't ask if you were ready i asked if you were willing

this guy literally rebuilt the whole xbox 360 ui for his portfolio.. meanwhile i’ve been ghosting my old wordpress one for 7 years... » gabrielcabrera.co wizard » @mopo7o