Emily McCarron

I managed to evacuate with a velvet rope but without warm shoes or socks. Panic moves!

I’m safe. But, still unhinged from evacuating so my jokes are currently super dark

@VDOOZER One of my favorite shows!!!!

#Shrinking season 2 now completely out for those who prefer a binge. (Also thanks Ronak)

@tweetsandboobs As a toddler I already wanted to wear satin, silk, lace, and/or velvet everyday. And that hasn’t really changed, & wasn’t what the adults around me were wearing.

I worked at a Montessori school in grad school. I befriended a mom with a 4 yo at the school. The child was her youngest of four. She told me as soon as her son got home every night he would put on his sister’s clothes. They had no clue why or what was happening- this was before being trans was politicized. They went to a therapist who guided them through it. Child is thriving and trans today. Sophomore in high school. It happens this young sometimes, and parents who listen have better outcomes.

@rainnwilson 🤣

Will Ferrell and his close friend, former head writer at SNL, Harper Steele embark on a cross-country road trip together after Harper comes out as a trans woman in the documentary film, WILL & HARPER. In select theaters this September and on Netflix September 27.

@Vanessa_ABee What selfish dumb jerks! Bad decisions for the baby! Themselves. & everyone on the flight! They don’t even know the ripple effect of bringing a sick baby on a flight to pressed the germs around! & the germs the baby picked up with its defenses already down!

if i took my baby with a 104 fever on a long international flight AND the flight went as poorly as expected, i would be so ashamed not even the CIA could pry that information out of me twitter.com/Magnolia_613/s…

@joel_eisenberg They both suck. Rip out your heart.

Met w/a friend who lost her husband several yrs ago to a brain tumor. We discussed—as I also had w/someone from my past who lost her husband—whether it’s any easier for a survivor to experience a drawn-out dying process of a loved one or something unexpected as I had. Thoughts?

@VDOOZER @AppleTV If you are a part of making it, I’m watching it! #BadMonkey

As it becomes very close to the time for me to promote a passion project I did called #BadMonkey on @AppleTV premiering August 14th… I’d like to once again put this out there: as a podcast guest I’m a solid 8.

@elonmusk It’s so ugly it makes me mad! In my heart and soul I want cars to look sexy!!!! Safety is imperative, classic cars were safe and sexy.

Other trucks look badass, Cybertruck actually is

@broadwaybabyto It’s crazy how lucky I got. The ER doctor said I would have died in my sleep that night. I was her last patient of the night, & she’d just learned about my rare illness that afternoon!

@cartwheeljoy I’m so sorry you went through that - but I’m glad they were able to figure it out!

As someone who was sick with invisible illness as a child - I’m worried for this generation of children. Kids WANT to play. They WANT to socialize. They usually WANT to go to school. If your kid doesn’t want to do these things - there’s a good chance they’re sick /1 🧵

@AppleTV when my subscription ends on the 27th can I get the 3 free months that’s supposed to come with my TV?

i’m staying single until a guy writes me an essay on why he would like to be in a relationship with me.

@NatalieKelda It’s based after my political activist lesbian mom!

It's pride month, tell me about your favourite queer character in your WIP!

I’ve had a lot of gay sex but the gayest thing I’ve EVER done is drive my ex-girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s girlfriend to the airport. and the VERY gayest thing I’ve ever done is that she is my ex-girlfriend now too

@Dopegame_Fresh @ArtOfDialogue_ I had men give me a laced joint when I was 16. They were also smoking it. It hit quick so I was lucky to get out of there. They had a bunch of it so it probably didn’t hit them as hard because they had built up a tolerance.

Here’s what sounds fishy to me. The claim of the laced joint. What could they have ‘laced’ it with? I’m thinking most likely cocaine or maybe even PCP…it’s the laced joint that sounds suspect to me. I doubt these guys were passing around a laced joint that they would hit themselves if they were using it to take advantage of a woman. That’s not how drugs work. You don’t give yourself the same substance you are using to victimize someone else otherwise you would not be able to function yourself in order to take advantage of that person. The laced joint theory sounds like some bs to me.

Diddy is facing yet another lawsuit filed by a former model who claims the disgraced mogul enticed her with promises of career advancement, but she claims his plan was far more sinister. Crystal McKinney claims in the suit, obtained by TMZ, in 2003 -- when she was 22 -- she was invited to a Men's Fashion Week event at Cipriani Downtown in NYC. She met Combs at the event and he invited her back to his studio. She says shortly after their arrival, Combs and several colleagues were drinking Hennessy and passing around joints. She took a hit, which she said was "very powerful," and felt as if she was floating. She claims the joint had been laced with a narcotic or other drug. Crystal says Combs then demanded she follow him to the bathroom, where she says he forced himself on her, began kissing her and shoved her head down to his crotch before commanding her to "suck it." She says she refused, but Combs then pushed her head down and forced oral sex. She started walking away but then felt woozy and lost consciousness. She says the next thing she knew she woke up in a taxi, and realized she had been sexually assaulted. It's unclear from the lawsuit if she's referring to the alleged forced oral sex ... or another sex act that might have occurred while she was unconscious She claims she was subsequently blackballed from the modeling industry, got severely depressed and attempted suicide in 2004. Crystal says upon seeing news of the lawsuits filed by Cassie and others, she "knew she had a moral obligation to speak up." (via @TMZ)

@bashour_nazira Unless you get a gay cat who has a type! My gay kitty meow loved calm quiet men, I got fooled into thinking some of them were nice guys because my cat was in love with them, 😂

I'm not exaggerating when I say how cats feel about any given man is the closest thing we have to a decency test

@JaimePrimak It depends on the cat! And if you constantly clean the litter box and vacuum it won’t smell! & I mean if you are home and there anything in the box clean it, use litter liners, and regularly clean the whole kitty litter area. Cats are amazing, & worth it!

Cat people…. A few questions and pls be honest… 1. Do they smell? 2. Do they help with anxiety?

@Yawp97 Just make sure they are regularly going to the academic advisor. When I first got to CC, I just took whatever classes I was interested in, & was disappointed to find out how many of them were not working towards transferring. I was 15, didn’t know what I was doing.

@cartwheeljoy Thank you!

Why my kid is going to community college: a thread. 1. First two years are paid for by the state of CA. 2. My kid doesn't want to go into debt. 3. He doesn't know what he wants to do. (He's good at so many things.) 4. He wants to take his GEs in a smaller setting.