god’s personal jester

can’t a girl joke about losing her mind without getting several “are you okay” messages

anyway what’s the point of enduring winter’s misery if I still have to be terrorized by stink bugs

never mind I had to rip my arms out of it as soon as I got to a stoplight

trying to remember I CAN do hard things. I CAN drive while wearing a jacket or coat

(except what actually happened is I got sucked into a tv series and have just been a slave to netflix instead of my phone ❤️)

accidentally took a social media break can u even believe!!! 😍

@marlborogirl777 no I had to have a talk with myself to tell me to get a grip. something sinister was going on astrologically, I think

@chaindawgg i refuse to engage on principle </3 but i understand the desire to argue

me watching people genuinely respond to rage bait

(I will still never forgive her for roar tho, as any 2013 college freshman would agree)

we took katy perry in her prime for granted. we didn’t know to savor what we had when we had it </3

me checking if my pizza’s almost ready

we should be able to report accounts for being lame

@AbbigailWehling the tear tracks kill me

@chaindawgg 💀💀💀😂😂😂😂

❤️

right underneath taylor swift killing the planet with her private jet is my name with my paper towel usage i am just cranking through those

false alarm I have a sinus infection

omg wait is dental emergency how week 4 of my new year is going to take place?? bc it’s been some type of misfortune since I woke up on jan 1

don’t get it twisted, I’m still gonna wait a bit and see if it just goes away. that’s my method for most things

I think the jig is up for me. my hand is being forced. I have to face the consequences of my actions (i’m gonna have to go to a dentist for the first time since 2012 bc my tooth hurts kind of a lot)

thank you malt o meal

@MaltOMealCereal you haven’t tweeted since 2022 and idk if this is even your real account but coco wheats are very precious and meaningful to me and yes I might have a fever right now but I just wanted to tell you that so you never discontinue them. I love coco wheats