Nipissing News, Catering and Events

@MPDannyJ @PaulESigh1 I am the very thing that kept the government going

@PaulESigh1 NO COME BACK!!!! EVERYTHING IS DYING!!

THE PM HAS DISAPPEARED, CONCERN IS WAVERING, POWERGRABS, they look cold

@PaulESigh1 I am cold

HELP

I see Red

@MpBraeden We still love you!!

Also, thank you for the support of our journalism! We are currently hunting down communists reporters to maintain our journalistic integrity for semi-fishy news

Ohgod og fuck I had been kidnapped and had to blackout reporting for three hours but now I am back, I will be taking anon tips for the sake of integrity

@CMPDoduck oh the GAME CONTINUES!!!

SIKE

I would like to formally apologize to @MPQazaqui for breaking his heart and choosing @charlene_cmp over him at this years The Bachelor

@PaulESigh1 Oh beeg shame

Soup Party leader accused of supporting the killing of people

@CMPDoduck The MP of Thunder Bay-Superior North had an amazing glow-up after their surgery to turn them into a cyborg

@charlene_cmp Clearly not the same person

BREAKING: One of the suspected communist reporters of the Nipissing News have escaped the basement. Rest assured, we have taken care of them

@CMPDoduck I would like to reassure the minister of finance that suspected communists are currently being herded and shot in the back

@charlene_cmp lookin’ snazzy today. Are the sunglasses to hide that she’s secretly a communist?

At the request of the Honourable Prime Minister, we will be serving crepes, not grapes, this fine CMP morning!

EXCLUSIVE: anonymous sources have tipped us that @HQazaqui is against the $100 breathing tax of the @PartyWealthy because he is afraid he will not be able to afford it himself. The sources have also reported that the leader of the CCC is in crumbling debt

EXCLUSIVE: an anon tip the executives of the newsroom about the possibility of a communist among us. We will investigate this thoroughly while also being mindblowned by these questions

@CMPDoduck @HQazaqui

@charlene_cmp @HQazaqui but im all the way in halifax 🥺👉👈

two people gave me a ❤️ today. Does this make me The Next Bachelor.

Miss @cmpgracem with your desire to return to primordial soup, what is your opinion of.....this gentleman?

@HQazaqui @CMPDoduck

live footage of me watching shrimp swim around and quietly yearning for the simplicity and peace of the primordial soup I someday hope to return to

@CMPDoduck @HQazaqui How can we compete for your affection? May I give you.....a hug? 🥺👉👈

@HQazaqui and @charlene_cmp must now compete for my heart