Chris Bell

If players didn't cheat there'd be no need for a referee

@KatePinkSmith Happy Holidays!

Already had new Little Simz. If we get some noname and (please, please, please lord) Sammus then 2023 is going to be a. o. k.

It’s really hard to showbiz up darts players names, but I’m totally here for it #thedarts

🎼 Oh well I wish it could be Bin Day Ev’ry day-ay-ay 🎶 #binday

Well, the lad’s stepped up and given that a proper Waddle

Before we laugh too hard at Ronaldo let’s all just take a moment to remember ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

FIFA have really gone too far

The moral of the story is never, ever, ever, ever talk to Piers Morgan

One of the unexpected benefits of moving to Canada is getting to watch Killer doing football explaining

I have, on these pages, suggested kickstarter ideas for quantum-entangled tupperware and dog poo bags that are already inside-out, so please believe me when I say that this is the worst (best?) idea for a business ever

Reader, I was almost right…

This is what happens when your Spotify account is the default vehicle for dispersing music into the family’s shared living areas

Well, who had a Rashford Thunderbastard on their 2022 bingo card?

@Pockless @dallasgoldtooth See? You totally get this thing

@dallasgoldtooth Here? My people are @Pockless Nobody else gets me or this thing

In my twenties I was a sex symbol. These days I’m just a gender identifier

“Why don’t we make a world were kids don’t have to “come out” to their parents, friends or family about sexuality or gender?”

Me, in a bus full of stolen Italian gold heading across the Alps that spins out of control and balance’s precariously over a thousand yard drop; “Hang on, lads. I’ve got an idea...

@chaedria Thanks to both of you for letting me look upon the face of pure wisdom

She is calling us all poverty stricken and destitute

Shouting…