Chris Patrickson

@footballtweet Grealish trying to work out what symmetrical means 🤣

#never forget

@bet365 France. Kane

Reply with your World Cup: • Winner • Top Goalscorer

@Livetalkfootbal Diouf is shit. Even their fans say he’s shit

🚨How Man United can RAID West Ham’s fire sale; West Ham relegated + £104m debt = fire sale prices. United shopping list: 1. Bowen: RW & ST fix. 20+ G/A for 5 seasons in a row. Price: £40-50m → was £70m+ in PL 2. Summerville: Pace merchant, Great 1v1 & Direct winger. Price: £25-30m 3. Mateus Fernandes: CM target on our list. Price: £35-45m → dropped 30% post-relegation. 4. Diouf: LB cover, young + PL ready. Price: £10-15m bargain. 5. Mavropanos: 4th CB, Great Aerial ability + PL proven. Price: £15-20m Championship deadline on West Ham is Aug 30th Which gives United all cards 💰 Total raid: ~£125-160m for 5 PL-proven players 😮‍💨 Who would you choose? #MUFC

@ManUtdInPidgin Goat

with your eyes closed, type “FERNANDES” on your keyboard, no cheating! 😂 I go start: Gerpandx

@A6788C Jinxed 🫣

Wow what a bet, unless someone scores last mins n gets their kit aff🤣🤣

@maniaUFO This guy was in Fantastic Beasts..

something is brewing... bring your tomato plants inside

@nocontextfm1 Reece James to play 20 seconds before getting injured 🤣

Bizarre squad, but actually a very good best starting XI. IT'S COMING HOME 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

@eviemufc69 Little Pea

@MUFCDarren_ Luke Shaw who’s played…… Just checking stats…. 37 games prem games straight this season.

🚨Alan Shearer on Luke Shaw and Harry Maguire missing the World Cup: “Luke Shaw missing out makes some sense because he’s been injured for almost the whole season. But Harry Maguire? Come on, you’ve got to be kidding me. What exactly is Thomas Tuchel thinking? Who is better than Maguire right now? Seriously, tell me. Every time England need someone to defend properly, win aerial duels, organise the backline, and fight for the badge, Maguire is there. People laugh, people criticise, but when the pressure comes, he always stands up. Football is about performances, consistency, character, and experience. And whether people like it or not, Harry Maguire gives you all of that. You cannot tell me there are many English centre-backs performing better than him right now. Impossible. At Manchester United, whenever he plays, you see leadership, aggression, and composure. He doesn’t hide. Some players disappear when things get difficult — Maguire doesn’t. Leaving him out of the World Cup? For me, that’s a massive gamble. In tournament football, you need warriors, leaders, players with personality. Harry Maguire has proven that many times for England. I really don’t understand this decision at all.”

@eviemufc69 RVN

Tuchel needs to be removed if rumours are true that Henderson makes the squad but Wharton is out.

@utdreport PGMOL. Was a decent signing for Arsenal this season

Who’s your “hear me out” signing for Manchester United this summer? 🧐

@paolohughes @RmadridElRey Gabriel isn’t better than Saliba!

@RmadridElRey Gabriel and Rice are the only ones getting into that combined XI, and that’s being generous.

This is exactly why no one wanted them to win any trophies.

@ArsenalN10 Fucking idiot doesn’t realise the guard of honour would be palace 🤣

I want Manchester United to be our first game next season. We need that guard of honour at Old Trafford.

@AEP220676 @WhistleBlowerDK So you’d have given a penalty if it was the defender?

@WhistleBlowerDK I’m a ref and it’s handball. Even if it hits his body first, he then continues to gain an advantage by controlling the ball with his arm.

No it’s not. Can you PLEASE do some referee education instead of misleading fan bases and giving a platform for referee abuse?

Gary Neville literally tries to get every United goal chalked off. Why’s he so bitter towards the club

@laurennUTD Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

A film everybody should watch at least once is…

@UtdToney @Indian_MUFC @Cantonadevils Low on the list, but it’s a free transfer 🙃 meaning we cover a position we’ve been hit by injuries in & spend nothing!

@Indian_MUFC @Cantonadevils I’m sorry, but CB is very low on the list of needs. We should try and bring in someone from the academy instead of signing another one

These are deals Manchester United should be all over. Senesi can fill in as Mathias De ligt is recovering from surgery.

@A6788C Mcginn 23rd min

Fuck it £50 giveaway, Predict the first goalscorer for the Liverpool game tonight and the minute scored in the comments below for example “Van Dijk 67th” Since the last few days have been poor and simply to annoy that guy who asked for a “refund” and is blocked 🟨😂😂😂

@Kekius_Sage What if they’re us, from the future. Or us from a different planet that dropped us here and we’re the aliens of earth 👀

If aliens are real, why haven’t they killed us yet?