Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton)

@K_A_N_D_E_L This is amazing dude! And now that I know how it ends, I don’t wanna play anymore

the stand-up comedy video game actually looks pretty cool

@RobertKennedyJr 4.1 Million people watching!

Coming up live is THE REAL DEBATE: 8:45 pm ET / 5:45 pm PT twitter.com/i/broadcasts/1…

Hi Twitter! I know I’m not good at being on here, but hey, maybe you’ll like this: I shot a special, and I want you to watch it youtu.be/EZ70fGmTPw0?si…

@acupofkhafi @boohoo Wrong

@boohoo This is absolutely unacceptable behaviour from a global retailer. Many have done worse on #LoveIsland and this personal attack and negativity was nowhere to be seen. This is a distasteful attempt at marketing and upping your Twitter numbers. Get Catherine's name out of your mouth

Catherine byeeeee 👋🏽

#AppleVisionPro when you look at android users

If it’s St. Patty’s Day, and you’re not wearing green. I assume pinching turns you on. You’re a freak aren’t you? ☘️

I’ve heard @Usher say “Yea” more than everybody I’ve ever met in my entire life combined.

I’m only on Twitter to see what conservatives are up to.

At this point, I’d get more attention online if I just registered as a sex offender.

In my mind, I tweeted yesterday, and that’s all that matters

When you’re married, “That’s what she said” becomes less of a fun joke, and more of a reason you can’t hang with the fellas!

If you’ve never burned money but you want the same thrill, try submitting to a comedy festival

At a wedding, when they say, “speak now or forever hold your peace” If someone speaks… What the hell happens? Do we take a 15 minute recess before presenting arguments for or against the nuptials?

Twitter is so lucky we don’t eat Blue Birds for Thanksgiving.

I spent over an hour trying to think of a tweet, then I realized NOBODY CARES!

Millennials and Boomers are separated by ONLY 1% Today my phone died, and I started asking people what time it was, and if they could MapQuest me directions

Because of they are SO polarizing, There are 4 things you never discuss in a bar: 1) Politics 2) Religion 3) War 4) Taylor Swift

Elton John My Mom’s Opinion on My Comedy 🤝 It’s a little bit funny

Just found out that my Dad watches my stand up clips to see if I’ve gotten fatter than the last time he saw me.

Btw! I know I’m not doing Twitter right… but I am unwilling to admit that I have things to learn. Actually, NVM, I’m doing it perfect. 👍🏽