chuckrex

"Spirits, sugar, water, bitters" I whisper to myself as I pour a shot of room temperature gin into my can of diet Sprite.

Wordle 1,799 3/6* ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

When asked why politicians can't just be better, Barney Frank retorted to an audience: "Because you voters aren't that great either. Look at the choices you make." RIP

buddy, I was writing 10 page papers without having read the book.

@pescami @rkylesmith Open bars....

It turns out the perfect setup for totally incoherent news gathering is shoving 500 reporters in a single room.

"...and just as a note, we both ran, but I absolutely ran faster. Not that big a deal, but ya know... it's Gospel now."

@S___Elliott Hunt for Red October

Movies are that are better than the book: No Country For Old Men Goodfellas The Godfather Strangers On A Train

To Save Time, CNN Will Now Run Retractions Simultaneously With News Stories buff.ly/qEWLcI1

The New York Times has now amended its “Smoking Jars of Metal and Fuses” headline, but it’s too late. Even in a world drowning in fake news, this particular masterpiece will live on in infamy.

Open the schools!

You can tell the Fitbit people are from southern California because my device told me I just spent 2:41 doing aerobics.

@nathanbrand Unfollowing

the most exciting thing about the afc championship game is the weather it’s a snooze 😴

Nowadays when I order a book from Amazon I feel like I'm using the Old Magic.

Sigh...

@heckyessica This is our new Boxing Day tradition.

amazon boxes, you have no power over me

Who's coming to #DENvsWAS? We've got some extra pregame field passes to give away! RT + let us know why ya want 'em ⤵️

If you're wondering, it takes seventeen fun size Snickers before the fun stops and the regret begins.

I want to take a moment to recognize the bravery of the woman who, when told to “get out of my fucking shot” CALMLY FACT-CHECKS HER BOSS on EVs and is presumably still alive? She deserves better and I hope she found it.

@bresreports Evergreen

Omg, everything sucks

"artillery takes the joy out of life"