cindi

your girlfriend/boyfriend should NOT be your first priority... your first priority should ALWAYS be cranking that soulja boy

why does breakfast in bed sound fancy but dinner in bed sounds depressed

one like and I’ll send this to my ex-situationship

entering my ho(ly ghost) phase

all the men chortling in the comments lmao China selectively aborted a significant % of its females, and the remaining women are now refusing to marry at historic rates. There are entire towns full of single males. a culture that mistreats its daughters is doomed to collapse.

can’t believe “white Christmas” is actually about cocaine

@fasc1nate plot twist the cat was actually killing people

In 2005, a nursing home in the US got a six-month-old kitten named Oscar as a therapy cat. The staff soon noticed something unusual about him. Oscar often liked to be by himself, but sometimes he would go and lie next to one of the residents. Strangely, the resident he chose would often pass away within a few hours. At first, the workers didn't think it was important, but after it happened 20 times, they started to think Oscar knew when someone was going to die. So, they began to call the resident's family if they saw Oscar with them. Some people think Oscar could sense certain smells from dying cells, and that's why he went to comfort residents who were alone. There was even a time when the staff thought one resident was going to die, but Oscar stayed with a different, healthier-looking person, who then died first. Oscar lived until 2022 and was right about more than 100 deaths during his life.

I mean…

@Andygravs thank you 😌

@cindi_teasley Graphic and profound

my menstrual cup runneth over

I keep getting ads to freeze my eggs but it’s like how does the algorithm even know I have chickens?

Súper painful when US Latines are mocked for not speaking Spanish. I speak it because I was born in Venezuela and it was spoken at home. Generations before me in many places weren’t allowed to speak Spanish at school. Their parents protected them from discrimination by teaching them English only. You probably know this history so my apologies if you do. But there’s a vast difference between us South Americans like Anya and US Latinas like the actors you mentioned.

Sebastian the crab was the victim of a toxic work environment

30-something year old dudes be announcing their birthday parties with a picture of themselves as a 5-year-old to try and distract you from the fact that they’re old

Jesus came into this world as an intern, but He will come again as the CEO

swifties will post a picture like “they say I did something bad, so why’s it feel so good?” and they just got a shoulder-length haircut

I like how people say “I bought it at a FRACTION of the retail price!” as if you can’t make a fraction out of any two numbers

wonder what it’s like having the last name Jones, knowing everyone’s always trying to keep up with you

so sick of people calling me misandrist when Mr. Andrist and I have been married for years so it should be Mrs.

I’m not single I’m just between boyfriends rn

I hate when people are like “you brought that HUGE suitcase for THREE days???” as if I just have an assortment of different sized suitcases at my disposal