C Jason Mask

Making friends is harder than I thought. Wah wah wah.

Chose group option for my #lyft and driver took other passenger and ditched me. I got charged $5. Took 1 min to dispute and was immediately refunded. Thanks @lyft , that was very easy! Wished I could have left the driver some feedback though

Pharmacy update. CVS didn’t have 1 of the meds, so they won’t give me both prescriptions. Seems suspicious. .

@lindz_berry I don’t get sick. And my nurse-wife takes care of this kinda stuff

@cjmask How...how is this possible?

36 years old. First time at a pharmacy. Do I really hand them a piece of paper with some doctor scribble and they just give me drugs? Seems odd.

Suck it world, I have made child.

Possible conversation between me and my kid in 14 years, “I think I want to go to college next year instead of workin” - kid “Are you kidding me?!? over my dead body!”

Currently logged into the Moe’s Guest WiFi. Don’t tell anyone

Flossed

@jasonmohnsters @dantesinfernal Ha, awesome

@dantesinfernal For me, that’s usually the bar.

But wait, hear me out... Single rider lines, but for restaurants.

FINALLY! A preview for that new Marvel movie. Looks badass

I will now make some generic statements about the Super Bowl with intentions of retweeting them next year

Inversely, I think having a baby has made me more efficient at wiping my own butt.

Why do men have nipples and why do mine look so good?

Knock knock

@joncole @michaelpdunn FINALLY

@RachelPlatten @matthires ha, classic.

This gig is weak, but the wifi is strong.

Maybe I should keep working for myself.

Things I've gotten on this resume in the 20 mins I've had it: iced coffee, rain, hot sauce, liiiiiitle bit of pee.