𝄆☁︎cloud🏳️‍⚧️ ☁︎ 𝄇

an intro for #edtwt ♡ 𓇼𓆉 𓆝 𓆡 𝄞 21, he/him 🏳️‍⚧️, autistic ♿️ 𝄞 pro-recovery, not fatphobic 𝄞 long term/chronic AN-r 𝄞 dms open, very interactive 𝄞 occasional vents/bcs 𝄞 Likes: classical/experimental music, radio, languages, hats, earl grey tea.

@sorrowsors no you're just an awesome person and you deserve kindness and support (which oyu give to others too)

Sometimes i get a little confused by how supportive and nice people are to me on here.. there must be a grand conspiracy

until it's like bad enough that it's noticeable because literally i'm doing everything i am supposed to in life and if i really had an ed i wouldn't be as highly achieving.

hate me and no one can like a pathetic anorexic who isn't even doing that 'right', like my body balloons no matter what i do and i hate myself for causing everyone these issues, because clearly they're really not that serious and i genuinely should keep it to myself at least

I know that my family loves me, but I bet that when something inevitably happens and takes me I'll be left with their voices echoing my own regrets and weakness, saying couldn't you just have been stronger, why couldn't halfway have just been enough

@didntdigest i have the exact same problem, i'm so sorry you're dealing with this too, it's so painful.

@tauntifer Same, i go through one of the 250ct boxes a week AND i drink stuff with it already in it like monster/crystal light

I think if u tested my blood it would come back with radioactive levels of aspartame

@trainwreckxic ohh yeah i think it may just be that i am a nerd, but i 99.9% of the time see it referring to essentially acting crossed with d&d

@cloudie_pie NO UR GOOD!! i never see it used in its og form anymore just by annoying ppl

the word larp makes me irrationally angry

@trainwreckxic OHHi am so sorry i just saw this on the tl and hadn't read the comments!!

@cloudie_pie !!! x.com/trainwreckxic/…

@leaisafatty Just use a bubble level if you have one in a toolbox. Takes the guesswork out. You can even try it both horizontally across where the scale sits and vertically down where it sits if one way is not certain enough.

ive heard that weighing myself on tile might make it inaccurate but is it fine if i line it up on a singular tile like this?

@trainwreckxic Plus I am within a comparatively small window of weight because my HW was still uw, and in treatment and that lasted fuck all, so literally anything higher than where I am looks shocking because my ED been most of my life

@trainwreckxic I kind of feel the same way because no one remembers me looking anything but this way so it’s just how I am, and no one even notices that anything is amiss. Genuinely my mom guessed that I weighed a full 5 bmi points higher than I do back in January.

Idk how to word this without sounding stupid but I feel like being uw doesn’t even matter anymore because it’s been so long like who gaf it’s not like I speedran to get here like it’s just Normal now any validation from teaching a lw ended 3 damn years ago

@deeriediet Earl grey is my favorite as well, but it’s a black tea, despite its citrusy flavor

is tnat herbal? i like chamomile kinda is That herbal??

Earl gray

@bl00dnB0nee :( I hope you feel better soon

DOING CRAZY BAD

It’s so embarrassing buying kids otc medications but I am not about to take the amount for someone twice my size and blow my liver to smithereens.

@tauntifer dude they are clearly freakishly obsessed and DEEPLY unhinged. Plus a liar. I truly hope you are able to not give them any credence whatsoever because they deserve not an ounce of it.

took my tell out of my bio and someone went out of their way to find my acc to tell me to starve to death and call me skinnyfat. yall r weirdos

@coffincalories Me too 😞 I also feel a lot of the time that neurodivergence and developmental disabilities are kinda treated like a personality quirk and so when someone is the kind of autistic where you are a little off putting and there is something clearly wrong with you, it’s a problem.

@cloudie_pie especially because of my autism i feel like i never fit in with ed spaces,,

I feel so profoundly isolated even in ED spaces no matter what I do I wish it were easier to connect with people

@pinkhaired_cass I’m so sorry you feel that way too. I think that while to a degree that sense of isolation is inherent to eating disorders, it’s always dialed up to 11 when you are without adequate support and/or your disorder manifests differently from others or how they portray it at least.

@cloudie_pie I also feel this way, I feel like I can never fit in with anyone even people with Ed’s . I’ve always felt like the black sheep .

@TOXMENS Ability to cope with my ED because I have this constructed mental division between my real physical self and my ideal self that allows me to try to focus on other areas that are fulfilling parts of life.

@TOXMENS honestly my transness feels very separate from my ED in a way because I started out with ARFID from being autistic and being over medicated to the point of being extremely severely underweight as a kid. in a way I feel like my experience of being trans has positively impacted my