Captain Jean-Luc Dickhard retweetledi
Captain Jean-Luc Dickhard
29.7K posts
Captain Jean-Luc Dickhard
@cointelprostate
Local cryptid
Katılım Kasım 2016
1.6K Takip Edilen2.4K Takipçiler
@cointelprostate Hope they'll finally add a woman in the mix
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Experts are saying that “Porn 2” is closer than we think
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@_artsartsarts Oh my god? I can’t believe my favorite menswear account complemented you. Artsartsarts stop skyrocketing to fame challenge (impossible)
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this is so funny and cool i love my stupid life i can’t stop laughing . so full circle i love how the internet can just connect u with anyone . the highest honour !!!!!!!!!
derek guy@dieworkwear
@_artsartsarts You genuinely look great! Thrifted finds can be dicey because you don't know how the previous owner treated (sometimes butchered) the garment, but that looks great on you. Just don't fasten the bottom most button, as it's not meant to be fastened. Otherwise it looks great on you!
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@greesybarx That’s the champagne of beers brother
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Carefully taking the pussy off the pedestal and replacing it with a small bag of equal weight
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I’m smoking weed with Rick Moranis. I invited a bunch of other guys too but he’s the only one who showed up
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If I had to pinpoint the moment when I lost all street cred as a rapper, I’d have to say it was when I accidentally dropped the bar “sippin on that cum” during in impromptu rap cypher
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Breathe in. Hold if. Exhale slowly. You are worthy of love and kindness. Your credit card has declined.
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@emo_garfield420 Buddy you’re describing the entire premise of liberalism - performative shit that does nothing. Of course they love it
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@ISO400_angel Ok wait I’ve been trying to figure that out too. They added me and have a bunch of mutuals but who the actual fuck is it
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Watching a 47 minute video of a bug doing nothing
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@chlumbucket @bachlover1958 I don’t typically do divorce work but I’m happy to help in this instance! I’ll give you the oomf discount
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@cointelprostate @bachlover1958 This post makes me want to reach out to a divorce lawyer
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Me as a restaurant manager and Meghan Markle is my employee: My employee, Meghan Markle, will assist you in the restroom madam. Just please don’t let her use it. We keep her diapered while she’s on the clock 😉
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@disqohelet And that why, despite this recent oversight, I will continue to provide belly rubs and tinned salmon
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@nickypoo_MO The equivalent would be a hairy ass crack which very much exists
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@peebuttnutter A little too natural. Almost uncanny valley of balls
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@samjohnsonjr39 Spread my word to the masses!
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@cointelprostate I'm printing your tweets and assembling them like verses in the quran
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Yelling at my roommate to fuck quieter because I can hear him all the way through the fibrous membrane of my sac
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