James Alderson

@RoyalMail - for the love of god can someone help with a delivery i urgently need today but for some reason your useless driver can’t find his way around a diversion sign to get to us. We live 30 seconds walk past the road closure too so he has options. I must get the post today!

EASTBOURNE ... Thursday 25th February Devonshire Park Theatre - Tickets on sale now stitches.fun/eastbourne-com… @scottbcomedyuk @SimonBrodkin @comedyjames

This show will leave you in stitches! 🤣 We're bringing three huge names to the Devonshire Park Theatre next week to bring the laughs to town! Opening with Scott Bennett fresh from two sell-out tours, true comedy royalty Jo Caulfield and prank legend Simon Bodkin, all hosted by the award-winning James Alderson. 🎟️Limited tickets left! Get your with the link below.

Hope Andrew had a lovely birthday. I’m guessing he was wishing he was blowing candles in the west wing though, rather than cock in D wing.

@LangmanVince Tell us you’re old without saying you’re old.

I tried to listen to a few a few Billie Elish songs for the first time last night and my God, I got so depressed I had to throw cold water on my face to snap out of it! 😂 I don't get it!

@EndWokeness It’s weird how some people don’t actually understand. She’s referring to all the “illegals” being removed from America. If you live there you can just exist there & that’s fine she says but nobody gets to decide who lives there & who doesn’t as it’s all someone else anyway.

Billie Eilish calls America "stolen land" Ok, Billie. Your $14,000,000 mansion in LA is built where the Tongva tribes once lived. Any plans on returning it?

@tina92272 @OliLondonTV She’s saying nobody is illegal on stolen land. Meaning that the ICE crackdown on illegals and sending them back to their country isn’t right as they aren’t illegals as nobody owns America except the native tribes. Doesn’t mean she needs to move out 😂 the opposite actually.

@OliLondonTV She's a hypocrite

Calls grow for Billie Eilish to return the land her mansion is on after she said America is “stolen land” at the Grammys. The singer has been urged to give the ‘stolen land’ back at her $14 million mansion to the Tongva tribe.

@MarindaVannoy1 😂😂😂😂

I don’t know a single person who regrets voting for Trump. Personally I would vote for him again if I could.

@WhiteHouse Fuck me. It’s so scary to think that people leading the US don’t know how the environment works. You do know that when the polar regions warm up it sends arctic weather south yeah?

"Record Cold Wave expected to hit 40 States. Rarely seen anything like it before. Could the Environmental Insurrectionists please explain — WHATEVER HAPPENED TO GLOBAL WARMING???" - PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP🇺🇸

@HisenseUK quietest washer dryer in the world?? Noisiest maybe? What’s wrong with this. We’ve levelled it. Got a pad under the feet and still it’s rickety like this. It isn’t knocking against anything either. This is the casing or something internal.

@elonmusk Shut up you tit - At least UK people know when someone stands in front of a car or to the side of it.

They want any excuse for censorship

I think Donald Trump actually only wants Greenland as he thinks it’s a huge theme park for golfing. ⛳️

I heard Trump has been given a FIFA peace prize. Isn’t that the wrong game? Think they meant to give him the Call of Duty one.

@HisenseUK is this the quietest washer dryer on the market? It was quiet to start with. A month in and it’s as rickety as the old machine we had.

@calvinrobinson Ever heard of a thing called the crusades mate?

Islam is not a religion, it is a political ideology bent on conquering foreign lands. Islam is inherently evil. If we do not push back, it will take over.

@PressSec @BBCNews @GBNEWS Do be quiet 😂

.@BBCNews is dying because they are anti-Trump Fake News. Everyone should watch @GBNEWS!

@ValentinaForUSA I honestly thought this was a joke parody account.

The only way to save America is by having a total muslim ban. I will ban burqas, public prayer, halal food & sharia cities only if you help me get to Congress. New York = muslim Michigan = muslim Minnesota = muslim You’re not being tolerant, you’re being conquered.

@jackunheard I’ve just realised you must eat McDonald’s with a knife and fork.

New York City just elected a communist that eats with his hands. Nasty and sad.

@elonmusk Meanwhile school shootings happen daily in the states. Lucky this guy didn’t have a gun eh? Wonder why that is?

11 people stabbed on a train in the UK

@BuzzPatterson Don’t be stupid. Trump has said he’s paying for it so that’s the truth then is it? You daft bastard.

He. Is. Paying. For it. You. Are. Not. Certainly an “astronaut” can understand. If you try real hard, you can do it.