Joel

Watch my new standup video youtu.be/hhXk3iqRHfQ

So out of form in standup I’ve become asexual.

Ok I am gonna say something wild - This could be the best appointment of all time.

Insane energy but what else is THFC

Itna Jaldi out hogaya, DM karna hoga.

Damn Ximons Tottenham might do something tonight.

@RapidoCares why do your driver rate me 1 star randomly? I asked my last driver and he said that’s what you have to press to go to next screen 🥲

@YJaisingh I don’t watch them in the PL

@coolboy_joel Will you watch Tottenham in championship joel? I for one can't be bothered

Abhishek it’s becoming tough now.

@Vishal44787347 Staying up

@coolboy_joel 👀🙈 what are you saying? Are we staying or going down?

Stock market? Cock market.

Want to go to bangalore .

suicide bombing in an age where drones exist, pure love for the game, you have to respect this dedication

Finally a kid without a smartphone

Bring back public likes.

Pochettino it is time.

Tel can’t get on XI and Bissouma can’t stay out of it

Dear @ICC, It is with a heavy heart that we now announce our unavailability to replace Pakistan in the upcoming T20 World Cup. Regardless of whether they now withdraw, the short timescales ensure it is impossible for our squad to prepare in the professional manner necessary to compete effectively in this global cricketing spectacle. We are not like Scotland and able to turn up on a whim, with no kit sponsor. Our players are from all walks of life and cannot simply drop their occupations to fly halfway around the world to experience temperatures only normally felt in Finnish saunas. Our captain, a professional baker, needs to attend to his oven, our ship captain needs to steer his vessel, and our bankers need to go bankrupt (again). This is the harsh reality of cricket at the amateur level of the game. This news will be extremely disappointing to our fans. Despite being the most peaceful nation on Earth, we maintain an army of online followers, and are the world's 14th most followed national board on X. We were ready to give the Dutch the biggest shock they have experienced since William of Orange lost the Battle of Landen in 1693. And the Americans were looking forward to taking on Greenland, or so their orange-dyed leader thought. Our loss is likely Uganda's gain. We wish them well. Their kits cannot be missed unless you have epilepsy, in which case they are probably best avoided. The future is always ice, until it isn't. Yours sincerely, Icelandic Cricket Association

MMRDA’s response is longer than any road they’ve built without potholes.

The flyover does not “suddenly narrow.” The transition from 4 lanes to 2 lanes is not a design flaw, but is based on available road width constraints, and future network planning. As per planning, the flyover has been designed with two lanes for Bhayander East and future connecting two lanes for Bhayander West. Since the Bhayander East arm comes first along the alignment, the 4-lane configuration presently transitions into 2 lanes. The remaining two lanes on the outer side are planned as part of the future extension towards Bhayander West across the Western Railway line. Up to Golden Nest Circle, where five major roads merge and traffic volume is high, a 2+2 lane flyover integrated with the Metro, along with slip roads on both sides, has been provided to disperse traffic effectively. Beyond the junction, towards Bhayander East, the available right of way reduces as per DP. Accordingly, a 1+1 lane flyover with dedicated up and down ramps has been constructed along the median to provide uninterrupted movement towards Railway Phatak Road. This design enables smooth crossing of one of the busiest junctions in the Mira–Bhayander region while accommodating on-ground constraints. Provision has been kept for future widening, wherein the outer side of the flyover on both carriageways will be extended by an additional 1+1 lane to ensure improved east–west traffic continuity.The proposal is currently at the planning stage and will be taken up in coordination with MBMC, after obtaining approvals from the competent authorities. At present, the flyover has been designed primarily for traffic dispersal and congestion reduction in the Mira–Bhayander area. Necessary safety measures have been incorporated, including rumble strips, delineators, adequate signage, retro-reflective tags, directional boards, and anti-crash barriers. Traffic police guidance is being actively sought for any additional vehicular safety measures prior to opening the flyover for public use. #FactCheck #MMRDA @GemsOfMBMC @CMOMaharashtra @Dev_Fadnavis @mieknathshinde @DrSanMukherjee @MahaDGIPR

Tottenham defenders wanna score so much it’s funny.