Dr Andrew Perry

I think of marriage as a lifelong set of conversations. Some are joyful, some painful, but the bond is built in the willingness to keep talking. The moment the conversations stop, the marriage quietly begins to disappear.

How many therapists did you meet with before you found a good one?

What does it mean to do your self justice?

An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior. Victor Frankl

“Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible.” Richard P. Feynman

What do y’all think the replication crisis in psychology is/means?

@LindaBerman4 What's your story?

Today, in our “shut up, get over it, and move on” mentality, our society misses so much, it’s no wonder we are a generation that longs to tell our stories. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

My personal truths as a clinical psychologist: #274 Identity becomes brittle when overly defended. *The more fragile we feel inside, the more rigid we often become outside. People start guarding their identity like a fortress instead of living it comfortably. You can see it everywhere. A person who cannot tolerate any criticism of their politics. A parent who takes a child’s independence as personal rejection. A man so determined to look “strong” that he cannot admit fear, sadness, or uncertainty. Someone who cannot laugh at themselves because every disagreement feels like an attack on who they are. Genuinely strong identity is usually flexible. It can listen, adapt, and stay curious without falling apart. Brittle identity needs constant protection because even small challenges feel dangerous. Healthy confidence does not need armor all the time.

@LindaBerman4 Yes and the accommodation to that reality.

“The basic for any approach to self-transformation is an ever-increasing awareness of reality and the shedding of illusions.” Erich Fromm

Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. Franz Kafka

My personal truths as a clinical psychologist: #271 Mature love protects individuality. *Healthy love does not require people to become smaller versions of each other. It makes room for two separate minds, two separate histories, two separate personalities. Immature love often says, “If you really loved me, you would think like me, want what I want, spend all your time with me, and stop needing anything outside the relationship.” Mature love understands that closeness and individuality have to exist together. A healthy husband does not mock his wife for having friends, hobbies, opinions, or dreams that do not revolve around him. A healthy wife does not treat her husband’s need for solitude, interests, or different viewpoints as rejection. Good parents gradually allow children to become themselves instead of extensions of the parent. Even close friends make room for differences without turning every disagreement into a threat to the relationship. Mature love also takes genuine pleasure in seeing the other person grow, develop confidence, discover new parts of themselves, and become more fully who they are — not just in ways that directly benefit the relationship or answer the question, “What’s in it for me?” Real love says: “I want to know who you are, not control who you are.” Ironically, relationships usually become stronger when people feel respected for who they are instead of managed.

@DoctorPerin Good enough therapy. #patientsfirst

What can be done to restore public trust in psychotherapy?

@DoctorPerin One relationship at a time.

How can we promote better mental health in children and adolescents?

My personal truths as a clinical psychologist: #270 The more energy people spend stuffing down feelings, the less energy they have left for living. *You see it all the time. The person who never talks about grief becomes emotionally flat. The man who swallows anger all day comes home exhausted and irritable. The woman who keeps saying “I’m fine” starts losing sleep, patience, joy, or even physical health. Pushing emotions down does not make them disappear. It just makes the mind and body work overtime carrying them.

@Nithya_Shrii They question, sense and decide.

How can you tell someone is well educated without actually knowing them?