Oz

@BackgroundsBlur As a member a vampiric undead, the compassions appreciated But also, as a monster hunter If the person with the peanut allergy was constantly bitin peoples throats out, I don't think you'd hear the populace complain if ya aerosolized peanut butter around yer house or yerself 🤷

i feel for vampires just a little. first of all garlic is wonderful, second it feels really unfair to keep weaponizing allergens against people i'm not out here wielding a bee on a stick or aerosolizing peanut vapors to "weaken" someone. it's messed up

@KoscheiDalca Turned inta a horse ta carry em, cause I needed more speed than my normal 2 legs would provide Horses don't have thumbs either I'm afraid Not normal ones at least

@KoscheiDalca Dog Was trackin somethin

What kind of beast form was it..? I think that the worst possible shape would be a deer, since they already have that freaky thing that happens where they stand up like people.

And then ya gotta haul em to the nearest town, cause what are ya gonna do? Be an ass and leave em in the weird and dangerous woods? No. So ya try ta drop em off in town but ya lack thumbs ta pay fer an inn Anyway, what an evening

Sometimes ya forget ta wild shape outta yer beast form, and ya start a conversation with a very confused traveler who keeps starin at their wine skin fer reassurance that they aren't imaginin things until they finally can't take the weirdness anymore and run straight inta a tree

@KoscheiDalca There's plenty a books and research to help ya establish one

@corpusCorvidae You do have a good point... Ah, like a demiplane! Surely I could figure out a demiplane.

Unfortunately, I am not right in the head in several directions and this is all that I want to eat. It is both varied (many meats and cheeses and textures) and the same (safe). Perhaps I can incorporate... figs... Wait, no, this is still emperor behavior...

@KoscheiDalca No wonder there's so much crime they named the place fer it Gotta get their entertainment somewhere

@corpusCorvidae Even though I very much want to bring the magic of theatre to this Crimetown, I know when I am not wanted...

My favorite henchman would have loved a theatre in Crimetown. He has an aspiring actor friend who is stuck selling mattresses! The morally and bardically bankrupt city would suit me so well... I feel as if I could help fix it! But alas... Lyra has called dibs...

@FulmenDraconis They're cravin warmth and the tender light a the sun Not the harsh thin light a winter that sustains nary a plant and hours a darkness 🤷 can't blame em fer gettin a lil funny

@corpusCorvidae I am simply keeping tabs on my incredibly bizarre followers... They get strange this time of year... 🤔

Is my boyfriend cravin a sacrifice snack or somethin??

@KoscheiDalca Reasonable But that could happen anywhere At least a decent city might offer insurance fer some a it What I'm saying is, ya might need ta drop yer standards ta more reasonable rates And also invest in teleportation magic. Whisk the buildin away in the face a danger Then return

@corpusCorvidae It is not entirely a deal breaker... I am only concerned about setting up an entire theatre and then possibly it gets nuked out of existence by a death ray on opening night.

@KoscheiDalca Fair enough 🤷 One good deed deserves another and whatnot

@corpusCorvidae This is exactly what I was saying! But I am not trying to piss them off. They helped me by giving me my Creature. They can have their city...

@KoscheiDalca Good luck findin a town with a theater attending populace that isn't under threat of adventurers or secretly housin a great evil

@corpusCorvidae It was a place called Frescal... It. Might. Work... But it is like Baldur's Gate. Always getting attacked with deranged adventurer nonsense. I think Tiamat is locked under there.

@KoscheiDalca Well, I mean yeah, not rule it or anythin But ya aren't even allowed ta jus live or work in the area and pay taxes?? Would ya even be crossin the same entertainment paths?? I'll admit, I dunno what all falls under their purview

@corpusCorvidae It means they do not want to see me there or I will wish I did not stay there, one way out another. You know, crime things, turf and all that.

@KoscheiDalca Where were ya auditionin before?? Maybe there'd work

@corpusCorvidae + not entirely my fault. It is Mostly my fault, yes, but people are so... Territorial. Even in the second layer of the Hells, I am not wanted because of the Mystra situation... I am finding myself at an impasse... Or ah, several...

@BackgroundsBlur 1 normal grandpa and 1 weird grandpa Balances out

@corpusCorvidae i wish that was me but yes! just a sweet old man, enjoying his nice teas, being normal and not at all in a toxic romantic tryst with a demon lord of rage

my relative's not just like. evil though. so that's a plus however i might be tangentially related to a demon lord of rage. bc my great grandfather or uncle or whatever and him are ex-lovers and uh. gross

@BackgroundsBlur Eh, romantic In a kind of, super fucked up and upsettin way… Grandpa got game I guess And here people were concerned you'd be mentally distressed havin ta possibly off a guy that looked like ya Turns out, the distress comes from sharin overly personal anecdotes. With yer face

@corpusCorvidae oh gods, there *was*... i mean to be fair? it's like. baphomet. like The Baphomet literally physically gave my lich grandpa his demonic heart it's both terrifying and awful to think about

"oh, no, these dimensional shackles have never been used for sex. firstly, they wouldn't suffice" SHUT. i don't need to know!!

@BackgroundsBlur That's so nice and chill How normal How mundane Sounds refreshin A precious man worthy a protection

@corpusCorvidae everything in my family is unfortunately complicated, i think except my human grandfather. as...as far as i know. he just likes to build kites and rake rocks