''Barry'' 黒影 光臣

my ghost wife wants me to stab this bard just to steal his fancy driftwood mother-of-pearl inlaid violin some people might find it concerning that a ghost only i can see is telling me to kiIl, but tbh this tracks. she would've told me this in life

also ken keeps telling everyone we've all slept together which isn't helping matters. it's all been nonsexual, and far from romantic. but the man doesn't seem to Get what a double entendre is

failing to beat the polycule allegations even though they're literally untrue

[ID: Mii Barry, content and happy as he roasts his crumpled cigarette over a bonfire. Two clip art looking PNGs of Halloween ghosts come down and loudly eat it right in front of his very eyes. The video cuts off very suddenly, mid-noise.]

[somewhere in Europe] Me, to the waiter: I’ll have the [grievous mispronunciation of local dish] waiter: [turns and nods by to the crossbowman at the other end of the restaurant who then shoots a bolt straight through my neck]

if anyone calls me anxious, i'll go stand near jj casey. by comparison i'm cool and collected

there is a man in this town who's like constantly Damp. i think he's either got a disease or a vitamin deficiency or maybe worshipping a sun god means you always feel the sun's warmth sweatiest person ive ever seen and he's wearing a full wool suit. he needs shorts/a tank top

I don't kill because I want to brah, I kill because of the curse I am burdened to carry,

"im so excited to see my lovely and totally still alive wife later!" i say, mere moments before having the most rotten day of my entire freaking life

@corpusCorvidae i hate that rust or a little seasoning could take us out but yeahh i guess you have a point as a monster hunter. it's just weird that it's phrased as a "weakness" and not an allergy idk if there's even anything that'll help my Everything not feel like it's on fire

@BackgroundsBlur As a member a vampiric undead, the compassions appreciated But also, as a monster hunter If the person with the peanut allergy was constantly bitin peoples throats out, I don't think you'd hear the populace complain if ya aerosolized peanut butter around yer house or yerself 🤷

i feel for vampires just a little. first of all garlic is wonderful, second it feels really unfair to keep weaponizing allergens against people i'm not out here wielding a bee on a stick or aerosolizing peanut vapors to "weaken" someone. it's messed up

"oh iron repels the fey" and if i wrapped manacles in poison ivy as a human repellant I'D be in the wrong

supposed to go out drinking but i look like i used poison ivy as Soap. genuinely ridiculous that im allergic to raw rocks

seamus seemed really impressed by me moving a boulder. he's been acting Off lately. probably just him being weird

am i going to church? yeah let me make my skin on fire again. don't mind the guy w a fire burning through his pants leg. he's covered in rashes and one eye's half swollen shut. it's fine that's just elves bro

how am i supposed to fix intense allergies. even my lungs itch i need to remove my skin some lil freak stole a hunk of my hair earlier too

i'm over here debating if im touch-starved enough to seek someone out at this brothel as if i wasn't mugged of my entire life savings

i’m like if a corpse was high-functioning

shadow brained

i only mention the last part bc there's sooo many women in this tiny town who all apparently transitioned within the past 3 years. and like congrats ladies but what is going on w all the first borns

things im trying to figure out: 1) am i desperate enough to go to a brothel? 2) am i immune to this "moonshine" i was given earlier? and 3) where's the trans masc population hiding?? i can't be the only one (unless there's estrogen in the water)