Christopher Riley

@TheShowstoppers It opens at Reuben's funeral, and his ghost, emboldened with post-death bravura, haunts the rest of Freshers week saying how he really feels

@TheShowstoppers Shirty Dancing Shirty Second Street Merrily we Roll A Thong Vest Sized Story

I hope this spends the first two hours watching Napoleon and his schoolmates have a snowball fight while he befriends a bird, like the Abel Gance original @JSTownend

@Se_Railway What about the 1755? Is that on platform 4? No announcements yet, truly shoddy

@criley2008 Hi Christopher. We did not advertise it on platform1 on any of our systems. The station team advertised it on platform 6 at 17:16, only then would it have shown the platform number in our app and national rail systems. ^PK

@Se_Railway what's going on the 1725 ex-VIC to Ashford via MDE? It's supposed to be platform 1, but now realtimetrains has it at platform 6 and departed, but no announcement was made. The train is just sat on platform 1 without any destination information

@Se_Railway And yet it wasn't on the board at Victoria! And there were no announcements!

@TigersJUK Timing

I mean we aren’t scoring him but still

Big dick Marisnick triple! I quite like him. Would be a decent 25th man on a not so terrible team.

There it is in black and white. Boris Johnson deliberately misled the house and committed a serious contempt. Got the fucker #boris #BorisJohnson #ToriesOut

The @tigers might only be at .500 for my son's entire life right now, down from undefeated this time yesterday, but at least Miggy @MiguelCabrera is hitting .600 in that time!

The @tigers are completely undefeated for 100% of my son's life. Granted, he is only 9 hours old, but it's a good omen. #tigers #DetroitTigers

Boris Johnson resigns in order to spend more time with his families.

Good Fucking Riddance

That's one of the worst endings to a baseball game I've ever seen. And one of the worst games. Yeesh #tigers #mlb

📞"I gargled sewage as a boy and it never did me any harm🇬🇧" "It shaped me and a generation of Conservatives. Me. Damian Green. Matt Le Tissier." Colin from Portsmouth says that clean water is not a basic human right.

We're back for another cracking show at Craft Brewed in Maidstone. #Kent people looking for a night of hilarious #improv #comedy should come on down! July 14th, 8pm

Well, @AustenImpro just never miss. So thrilled that @withtwoteas used my title, Dungeons and Darcys; Bonnets Among Thieves. Thank you @amycookehodgson, @ladycariad et al for a magnificent show. Cheered me right up. FOR I AM A BRAVE MAN (raps in french)

Travesty.

Spain got the correct number if points from the public vote

If the audience in Liverpool are anything like the people at home, Finland is going to smash this second half of the vote.

I think the public vote will have a very different opinion of Sweden. So many bangers tonight, and Tattoo wasn't one of them. GIVE IT TO AUSTRALIA YOU COWARDS