James Crossley

@MinistryofWit @haveigotnews Well, that nothing to be ashamed of - you can always speak to your doctor about it.

@haveigotnews Just as useless and corrupt as the rest in Labour. I hope he loses to restore Britain. I'd piss myself!

Andy Burnham says the country has been on ‘the wrong path for 40 years', adding; 'except that really good bit around 2008-2010'

I'd like to have a superpower, but can't see myself being invisible. #LunchPun

@RealMattLucas You must be Kidding.

good morning

@ArianeSherine I think he misunderstood when you said 'fancy a cuppa?'.

I love this photo but I'm not sure we can show it to Ad's family because of where his hand is!

I wasn't sure if I'd offended Gwen Stefani but she was in no doubt. #LunchPun

“We asked 48m voters ‘What would make you vote for Labour again’ You said - Gordon Brown If it’s up there I’ll give you the money myself”

@GaryDelaney That came out with remarkable ease.

I’ve just stolen all your laxatives. I shit you not.

@RealMattLucas Why didn't they just call it Spring?

good morning

My friend Jean is obsessed with cleanliness after years of people saying "Hi Jean!". #LunchPun

A cremation isn't just given, it has to be urned. #LunchPun

MISSING 15 YEAR OLD GIRL | URGENT PLEASE SHARE 🔍 IMOGEN, 15 Imogen has been reported missing and her family are extremely worried for her welfare. She has now been missing for over 14 hours, which is out of character. 📍 LAST SEEN LOCATION Last seen at around 9pm on 1 May 2026 in Hawkenbury Recreation Ground, Tunbridge Wells. No confirmed sightings since. 🙏 CONTACT POLICE If you see Imogen or have any information about her whereabouts, please contact police on 101 immediately. If there is an immediate sighting, call 999. 💬 MESSAGE TO IMOGEN Imogen, you are not in trouble. Please get in touch with someone or go somewhere safe — your family are really wPLEASE SHARE THIS POST URGENTLY — EVERY SHARE COULD HELP BRING IMOGEN HOME SAFELY #Missing #MissingGirl #FindImogen #TunbridgeWells #UrgentAppeal

Typical…

I've opened a new cheap suit shop called Tailor Thrift. #LunchPun

@sophielouisecc Or possibly delivered by Amazon.

I cannot stand when political parties just lob their leaflets on the floor in flats as they cba to climb stairs Climb them! Keeps u skinny

@10DowningStreet @Keir_Starmer Did you know you were in Paris or did nobody tell you?

In Paris today, @Keir_Starmer co-hosted an international summit with @EmmanuelMacron. Joined by more than 45 countries, the summit’s mission is clear: We must protect freedom of navigation in the Strait of Hormuz and see a return to peace and stability.

Not one of Harry Enfield's most popular characters.

‘I’m appalled by my own incompetence’

Just go for fucks sake

@tom_watson But when it comes to internal affairs he's clueless 🙈

He is many things but Keir Starmer is not a liar.

@haveigotnews And Huw Edwards.

Keir Starmer says he was unaware of issues vetting Peter 'Prince of Darkness' Mandelson, but hopes the Civil Service will do a better job with the upcoming government appointments of Knuckles McGinty, Vlad the Impaler and Keith the Bastard